"I'm a Tenaz. I kill monsters. It's the family business." Sam cracked a smile and then finished his beer, setting the bottle aside. Right by the glass recycling, or at least by where this place was putting their glass waste. He was a responsible man, even while he was a cynical ass. "What else am I going to do? Write a term paper?"
He scoffed and then pulled out the handcuffs he had gotten out of the car before, sliding them over into the devil's trap so they landed by Harry's feet. By the feet of the demon that wore Harry, anyway.
"Put these on and you'll get a chance to live." He held his demon-killing blade in his hand and assumed that made his threat complete for him.
"Huh. Kinky. I didn't peg you for that sort, given you were always so vanilla. Remember when you asked me about how to go about your first time?" Sam had confined a lot of things in Harry, before and after he was a demon, and Harry still had full memory of every single interact. 100 years in hell did nothing to displace those memories. "Oh, the blushing virgin, afraid of hurting his girlfriend. It's funny how you were more concerned with hurting her than pleasing her. Says a lot about you, doesn't it?"
He picked up the cuffs and debated what was worth doing but one thing that continued with him through everything was that deep desire to survive. So he reluctantly put them on and closed them up, holding them up to Sam.
"Maybe you always knew that deep down, you're not so different from us." Lucifer's vessel. Demon blood. The boy king of hell. It was all very funny.
"Maybe. I'd killed before I'd ever gotten as far as kissing a girl, bound to warp you." Sam spat on the ground, using that and his foot to break the devil trap. Then he grabbed one of Harry's wrists and pulled him along, heading towards his car. He didn't really have a plan yet, but he was filled with a certain calm for whatever reason. Probably not for a good reason.
It made his chest seize to remember the way he had confided in Harry back then. It might have been before he'd turned demon, but now the memories were there, to be made a mockery of like everything else his life could have ever been. "I am different from you though. You're just a lackey demon. You only exist because of me. Nothing special about you."
He opened the passenger side of the car and grabbed the back of Harry's head so he could get him inside.
"I was higher up until someone sabotaged me with Aleister. I can't tell you how happy I am you've put that old dog down." Or, at least, he sincerely hoped he had. Aleister turned a blind eye to him but he didn't like him. He was a Lucifer loyalist in the end, most demons were. They didn't need a crossroads demon bossing them around.
He got into the back of the car, sighing in annoyance. What on Earth was Sam playing at? What was the game here? Nothing could be accomplished from this?
"If you think I have an in with Abaddon, I don't. I got nothing for you." He had no intel that the boys didn't already know. "Where's big bro? Aren't you two attached at the hip these days?"
San started the car and let the music keep playing because he wasn't in the car with Matty and so he would listen to whatever the hell he wanted to listen to. "We're not attached at the hip, no. Kind of comes and goes with the seasons, I'd say."
He knew where Matty was, roughly. They checked in on each other every few days, checked in with Bobby back at the bunker. But he was off doing his thing with his angel and Sam was here. Getting himself a demon, apparently.
He got them onto the road and shook his head. "No one has an in with Abaddon. Pointless anyway. There's no plan there, only anarchy."
"I love anarchy. But then, I always did. Fuck the system, even the demonic system. It's just a rat race where you fill quotas for assholes. Just like I told you." Harry had been a cynic before he was even a demon, he was always telling Sam to watch his back, trust no one and prepare himself for the brutal, crushing realities of work.
"Remember when we went to see that one indie punk band? What were they again? Severed cunts or something gross like that. Your first concert. Fuck me, what a concert that was. That dude threw a beer at you by accident and I nearly died in a mosh pit." Harry laughed, because he could remember the fun. He just couldn't feel it.
He didn't really feel any more. Emotions were for the living, not for demons. "I can't believe we bought a CD on the way out. I hated their music, you did too. I still have the CD."
"I don't. I got nothing from back then." He had the memories, sure. Sam wondered whether they might feel as far away for him as they did for Harry. Probably not. Probably still different because the pain was there. The emotion. He remembered what it had been like to feel like he belonged somewhere. That feeling of acceptance and that anticipation about things getting better instead of more of the same or worse.
Could remember the feeling of her hand in his while they'd listened to Harry go on about things in his cynical way. Before going home with her when they'd promised themselves that they'd make the world a better place together. Told each other that they'd already made the world better for just them.
He could remember friendship that had been twisted into toxic betrayal and love that had burned up into bitter ash. Sam took a turn at the next freeway. He had a feeling he knew where he wanted to go here.
"All of you demons like to talk a lot. Is it because there's only emptiness inside? You have to fill it with something."
"You tell me. I think I don't talk any more or less than before. I was always talking your ear off. You just mind it more cause I'm a demon and you think if you rage kill us all, it absolves you of sin." Harry pointed out as he leaned back in his seat and lifted his hands, inspecting the cuffs. Fucking demon cuffs, man. Since when were they a thing?
"Then again, I was empty inside to begin with it. I just hid it better." He didn't remember what it was like to be human but he knew what he thought and felt. Now memories worked once for him. Every memory was hollow, devoid of feeling but fact was there. It never went away.
"I smiled and I pretended and you never knew." Harry wondered if he could pick the lock but they seemed pretty damn solid. "I was so used to getting nothing I wanted that I hollowed it all out. Hell, being terminal was just the kick I needed to rid myself of all that ugly humanity. Now look at me? I'm actually happy."
"There's no point in me being happy. I've just got to be stubborn enough to keep the devil out. There's another guy who really likes the sound of his own voice. Lucifer never really shuts up." Even now he felt like he could hear him at the back of his head. As if he was sitting on the backseat, commenting on what Sam was doing. Mocking him for it.
Sam kept driving. No one else was really around. They were pretty out there and he just happened to know that there was a chapel alongside that road. Holy ground, or close enough to it anyway. A place he could use for this, once he put all the necessary wards up.
"I think there's no point to you being happy either."
"Why?" Harry protested as he watched them drift further and further from the city roads and off into the sticks. This was not good. He looked around and then eyed up the car door. He tried the handle. Locked. Fuck, he didn't want to know what Sam was planning but it didn't sound exactly wholesome or nice.
"Come on, man. This isn't cool. We were friends, pals, you gotta at least give me a break cause of that. I mean, yeah, no, I worked against you but I gave up where the horsemen were. And I didn't bullshit you." He didn't have a choice but he was working with very little for negotiation here. "Whatever you want to do... don't do it."
"No wonder you were never in sales. Some of you demons can talk a good game. Even Lucifer's has gotten me to consider things once or twice." Sam shrugged, deciding to speed up the car. He wanted to get there before sunset, to get started. Seemed more atmospheric that way. Had to have good lighting for the start of the ritual. "Although maybe that's what's made me immune. Nothing you can come up with to ever make me change my mind, not after the devil himself has failed."
He didn't have many successes in life and the ones he had were always tainted with failure as well. But at least Lucifer was in his damn cage right now.
"Yeah, it kind of sucks to be the man who follows the devil." Harry wasn't exactly a big leaguer. He was the horseman's assistant for a while and now he most just pulled in souls and avoided going into hell. He wasn't really a salesman. He never wanted to be. He just wanted to enjoy himself, live his life and not think of consequences.
Living forever in style was all he wanted. Thank God, he'd had it for longer than he would have as a human. Not that Sam could appreciate that.
Sam said nothing until he'd parked his car by the chapel. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "Sure. Why not?"
With that, he got out and walked around the car. He stopped at the boot to get a few things out and then opened the passenger side. Grabbing Harry by the arm, he pulled him out and dragged him along into the building, where he walked him by the rows of pews. He stopped in front of the altar, letting go of him. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
"It's holy ground. Why are we on -- you're a giant dickweed." Harry snarled in annoyance as he stumbled along after Sam, not sure what his best option was here. If he was going to be slowly tortured to death, he had to at least attempt an escape. Once Sam let go of him and talked about getting a chair, Harry didn't hesitated.
He ran. He hauled ass out of the other exit, running the complete opposite direction of Sam. Whatever this fucker was planning, he wasn't going to just let him do it.
Sam had his gun out in no time, shooting twice. Once into each leg, right at kneecap, hitting Harry with rock salt.
"Thanks," he said it drily, "I really wanted an excuse to do that."
He could definitely get into the spirit of this.
While Harry was on the ground, trying to force himself up, Sam used a spray can to draw a devil's trap. Then, before closing it, he walked over and hauled Harry to his feet, so he could drag him over there again. Once inside the almost completed trap, he dropped him.
"Remember when I picked you up after another one of your benders?" There, he had memories too. He stepped back and completed the trap, then looked down at Harry. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
"Dickhead!" Harry yelled as he groaned in pain, both knees screaming in pain. He tried to get up and wriggle of out of Sam's hold but by the time the stupid trap was down, he couldn't move anyway. He lay on his back, panting in pain as he stared up at the ceiling. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He couldn't even make a call, he didn't have any blood avaliable.
By the time Sam came back with his stupid chair, Harry had managed to pull himself upright. "You self righteous piece of shit. I always fucking hated that. Sitting there, talking about changing the world and helping people. So up your own fucking ass!"
"I don't think I'm changing much of anything. Definitely not helping anyone. Ridding myself of one annoying demon. I'm just being a selfish piece of shit, get it right." Sam set the chair down and then hauled Harry up into it.
He used zip ties to fix Harry's cuffed hands to one armrest, then used some more zip ties to tied his legs and the rest of his body to the chair, until he wasn't going to get much movement in when struggling.
"What is it you liked to say?" Sam took a step back and looked at Harry. "Let's get this party started."
Harry looked down at himself and then back up at Sam, unsure and unhappy with his current state. "I don't know what you think this is going to achieve. It's too late. Jess is dead, I'm long gone, buddy and so is Lucifer. Look at it this way - you're winning as is. This is just needless. Perverse. I mean, what a miscarriage of justice."
He doubted Sam cared about these things, he didn't seem to have much caring in him today. Where was his empathic, soft hearted boy? He really wished he was playing with him right now.
"I don't know if I ever believed in justice. I just really, truly hoped that it exists. I hoped that of a lot of things." Sam looked down at Harry now and he swallowed. That cold rage inside him, it was threatening to tip over. Sad. He was so very sad.
"You know, I never really let myself make an actual friend. Not until I met you. I remember going to the dorm after the first time you talked to me, before we met up, and I was giving myself the spiel of how I don't need anyone, can't trust anyone, shouldn't let anyone get close. But then I caught myself. Remembered that my dad and Matty weren't around. That I could have a friend." Sam shook his head and then just looked up. Still had to do confession.
"I saw a big guy who could keep me safe and carry me home when I'm loaded. I didn't care about you like that, lughead. Besides, I was bored - you were my project." Harry was lying but lies were fun. He had to hurt Sam because Sam was about to hurt him and he didn't want to be caught in the onslaught without defending himself. "You ever want to feel good about yourself? Give a wetback a makeover."
He waggled his eyebrows at Sam playfully, just going as deep as he could get.
"Now we've both confesses, want to forgive and forget?" Harry asked as he tugged against the cable ties. "What do you say, Sammy? Start fresh? You might like the new me. I still party."
"Y'know, it probably wouldn't have mattered. I was very desperate to not feel alone back then." Only he knew that wasn't it. He knew that he had known Harry for real back when he'd seen his humanity. "I've gotten used to the loneliness by now. Safer that way, anyway."
He shrugged and stepped outside the circle, so he could walk over to the confessional. "I need to confess properly. Then I'll show you how I party."
That said he walked into the confession booth, shutting the door behind himself.
While Sam disappeared into the confessional, Harry sensed the end was nigh and started to drum his hands on the arm rests of his chair. He heard Sam whispering but he couldn't make anything out. Tragic.
"Hear the sound of the falling rain. Coming down like an Armageddon flame. Hey! The shame, the ones who died without a name. Hear the dogs howling out of key to a hymn called "Faith and Misery" and bleed, the company lost the war today." Harry sang obnoxiously, loudly, just wanting to distract Sam with a song that meant something to him and Sam once. Drunk, listening to music, experiencing rock for the first time.
Harry had paid excessive amounts to take Sam to Green Day, insisting he had to experience his first concert in person. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives."
He licked his tongue and remembered what it was like, standing among a sweaty mass of people, his forehead pressed against Sam's as he looked deep into his eyes and then kissed him. Dismissed it as fun, nothing more. Ah, to be human and so very weak.
Sam was crying. Properly crying, with tears streaming down his face. There was a demon singing right outside, that was reason enough to keep from sobbing. Tears, though, he wasn't stopping them. It was almost a relief to feel something as simple as sadness. Loss. Mourning what had long since ceased feeling real to him.
He confessed all the things that the person he had once thought he could be would hate him for. It was a long list. He wished there wasn't a part of him wondering what Matty would have had to add to it. What his father would have to say.
With his memories of a concert that had felt like a turning point, like the best moment of his life, he stepped out of the confessional. Tear tracks were pretty obvious, as were his red-rimmed eyes. He walked up to Harry and said nothing, simply rolled up his sleeve. This was going to be painful.
"You seem to be a touch emotional today, Sam. You always told me to not make big decisions when upset." Harry attempted as he looked at how utterly miserable Sam seemed, rolling up his sleeves for God knows why. Not wanting blood on his sleeves? He winced, tilting his head back. Normally he'd revel in the misery of a Tenaz but right now, it was precarious.
"Let's be honest here, you're a shell of who you were. I noticed since we first hooked up tonight. How about you take a seat on that pew and tell me all your sins. We can dissect together before, yeah, before you go a little crazy." He looked up at Sam, trying to adopt the most human guise he could. Wet eyes, looking as concerned as he could muster, like his old pal from college.
"Cute. You're good at it. The act." No surprise there. He supposed he had fooled him for years.
Sometimes Sam wondered how many others there might have been in his life that were only Lucifer's agents. In the end, he wasn't sure whether anyone could have hurt as much as Harry.
He shook his head and got the syringe out of his pocket. After clenching one hand into a fist, he quickly found the right vein and extracted some blood. Then he moved forward, so he could hold Harry's hair and hold him in place, injecting the blood right into his neck.
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waywarddone2024-09-25 02:16 pm
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He scoffed and then pulled out the handcuffs he had gotten out of the car before, sliding them over into the devil's trap so they landed by Harry's feet. By the feet of the demon that wore Harry, anyway.
"Put these on and you'll get a chance to live." He held his demon-killing blade in his hand and assumed that made his threat complete for him.
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He picked up the cuffs and debated what was worth doing but one thing that continued with him through everything was that deep desire to survive. So he reluctantly put them on and closed them up, holding them up to Sam.
"Maybe you always knew that deep down, you're not so different from us." Lucifer's vessel. Demon blood. The boy king of hell. It was all very funny.
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It made his chest seize to remember the way he had confided in Harry back then. It might have been before he'd turned demon, but now the memories were there, to be made a mockery of like everything else his life could have ever been. "I am different from you though. You're just a lackey demon. You only exist because of me. Nothing special about you."
He opened the passenger side of the car and grabbed the back of Harry's head so he could get him inside.
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He got into the back of the car, sighing in annoyance. What on Earth was Sam playing at? What was the game here? Nothing could be accomplished from this?
"If you think I have an in with Abaddon, I don't. I got nothing for you." He had no intel that the boys didn't already know. "Where's big bro? Aren't you two attached at the hip these days?"
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He knew where Matty was, roughly. They checked in on each other every few days, checked in with Bobby back at the bunker. But he was off doing his thing with his angel and Sam was here. Getting himself a demon, apparently.
He got them onto the road and shook his head. "No one has an in with Abaddon. Pointless anyway. There's no plan there, only anarchy."
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"Remember when we went to see that one indie punk band? What were they again? Severed cunts or something gross like that. Your first concert. Fuck me, what a concert that was. That dude threw a beer at you by accident and I nearly died in a mosh pit." Harry laughed, because he could remember the fun. He just couldn't feel it.
He didn't really feel any more. Emotions were for the living, not for demons. "I can't believe we bought a CD on the way out. I hated their music, you did too. I still have the CD."
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Could remember the feeling of her hand in his while they'd listened to Harry go on about things in his cynical way. Before going home with her when they'd promised themselves that they'd make the world a better place together. Told each other that they'd already made the world better for just them.
He could remember friendship that had been twisted into toxic betrayal and love that had burned up into bitter ash. Sam took a turn at the next freeway. He had a feeling he knew where he wanted to go here.
"All of you demons like to talk a lot. Is it because there's only emptiness inside? You have to fill it with something."
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"Then again, I was empty inside to begin with it. I just hid it better." He didn't remember what it was like to be human but he knew what he thought and felt. Now memories worked once for him. Every memory was hollow, devoid of feeling but fact was there. It never went away.
"I smiled and I pretended and you never knew." Harry wondered if he could pick the lock but they seemed pretty damn solid. "I was so used to getting nothing I wanted that I hollowed it all out. Hell, being terminal was just the kick I needed to rid myself of all that ugly humanity. Now look at me? I'm actually happy."
He laughed and then smiled at Sam. "Are you?"
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Sam kept driving. No one else was really around. They were pretty out there and he just happened to know that there was a chapel alongside that road. Holy ground, or close enough to it anyway. A place he could use for this, once he put all the necessary wards up.
"I think there's no point to you being happy either."
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"Come on, man. This isn't cool. We were friends, pals, you gotta at least give me a break cause of that. I mean, yeah, no, I worked against you but I gave up where the horsemen were. And I didn't bullshit you." He didn't have a choice but he was working with very little for negotiation here. "Whatever you want to do... don't do it."
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He didn't have many successes in life and the ones he had were always tainted with failure as well. But at least Lucifer was in his damn cage right now.
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Living forever in style was all he wanted. Thank God, he'd had it for longer than he would have as a human. Not that Sam could appreciate that.
"So what, you're going to torture me to death?"
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With that, he got out and walked around the car. He stopped at the boot to get a few things out and then opened the passenger side. Grabbing Harry by the arm, he pulled him out and dragged him along into the building, where he walked him by the rows of pews. He stopped in front of the altar, letting go of him. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
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He ran. He hauled ass out of the other exit, running the complete opposite direction of Sam. Whatever this fucker was planning, he wasn't going to just let him do it.
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"Thanks," he said it drily, "I really wanted an excuse to do that."
He could definitely get into the spirit of this.
While Harry was on the ground, trying to force himself up, Sam used a spray can to draw a devil's trap. Then, before closing it, he walked over and hauled Harry to his feet, so he could drag him over there again. Once inside the almost completed trap, he dropped him.
"Remember when I picked you up after another one of your benders?" There, he had memories too. He stepped back and completed the trap, then looked down at Harry. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
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By the time Sam came back with his stupid chair, Harry had managed to pull himself upright. "You self righteous piece of shit. I always fucking hated that. Sitting there, talking about changing the world and helping people. So up your own fucking ass!"
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He used zip ties to fix Harry's cuffed hands to one armrest, then used some more zip ties to tied his legs and the rest of his body to the chair, until he wasn't going to get much movement in when struggling.
"What is it you liked to say?" Sam took a step back and looked at Harry. "Let's get this party started."
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Harry looked down at himself and then back up at Sam, unsure and unhappy with his current state. "I don't know what you think this is going to achieve. It's too late. Jess is dead, I'm long gone, buddy and so is Lucifer. Look at it this way - you're winning as is. This is just needless. Perverse. I mean, what a miscarriage of justice."
He doubted Sam cared about these things, he didn't seem to have much caring in him today. Where was his empathic, soft hearted boy? He really wished he was playing with him right now.
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"You know, I never really let myself make an actual friend. Not until I met you. I remember going to the dorm after the first time you talked to me, before we met up, and I was giving myself the spiel of how I don't need anyone, can't trust anyone, shouldn't let anyone get close. But then I caught myself. Remembered that my dad and Matty weren't around. That I could have a friend." Sam shook his head and then just looked up. Still had to do confession.
What a joke. "Forgive me."
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He waggled his eyebrows at Sam playfully, just going as deep as he could get.
"Now we've both confesses, want to forgive and forget?" Harry asked as he tugged against the cable ties. "What do you say, Sammy? Start fresh? You might like the new me. I still party."
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He shrugged and stepped outside the circle, so he could walk over to the confessional. "I need to confess properly. Then I'll show you how I party."
That said he walked into the confession booth, shutting the door behind himself.
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"Hear the sound of the falling rain. Coming down like an Armageddon flame. Hey! The shame, the ones who died without a name. Hear the dogs howling out of key to a hymn called "Faith and Misery" and bleed, the company lost the war today." Harry sang obnoxiously, loudly, just wanting to distract Sam with a song that meant something to him and Sam once. Drunk, listening to music, experiencing rock for the first time.
Harry had paid excessive amounts to take Sam to Green Day, insisting he had to experience his first concert in person. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives."
He licked his tongue and remembered what it was like, standing among a sweaty mass of people, his forehead pressed against Sam's as he looked deep into his eyes and then kissed him. Dismissed it as fun, nothing more. Ah, to be human and so very weak.
no subject
He confessed all the things that the person he had once thought he could be would hate him for. It was a long list. He wished there wasn't a part of him wondering what Matty would have had to add to it. What his father would have to say.
With his memories of a concert that had felt like a turning point, like the best moment of his life, he stepped out of the confessional. Tear tracks were pretty obvious, as were his red-rimmed eyes. He walked up to Harry and said nothing, simply rolled up his sleeve. This was going to be painful.
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"Let's be honest here, you're a shell of who you were. I noticed since we first hooked up tonight. How about you take a seat on that pew and tell me all your sins. We can dissect together before, yeah, before you go a little crazy." He looked up at Sam, trying to adopt the most human guise he could. Wet eyes, looking as concerned as he could muster, like his old pal from college.
"Let's talk, man."
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Sometimes Sam wondered how many others there might have been in his life that were only Lucifer's agents. In the end, he wasn't sure whether anyone could have hurt as much as Harry.
He shook his head and got the syringe out of his pocket. After clenching one hand into a fist, he quickly found the right vein and extracted some blood. Then he moved forward, so he could hold Harry's hair and hold him in place, injecting the blood right into his neck.
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