"You tell me. I think I don't talk any more or less than before. I was always talking your ear off. You just mind it more cause I'm a demon and you think if you rage kill us all, it absolves you of sin." Harry pointed out as he leaned back in his seat and lifted his hands, inspecting the cuffs. Fucking demon cuffs, man. Since when were they a thing?
"Then again, I was empty inside to begin with it. I just hid it better." He didn't remember what it was like to be human but he knew what he thought and felt. Now memories worked once for him. Every memory was hollow, devoid of feeling but fact was there. It never went away.
"I smiled and I pretended and you never knew." Harry wondered if he could pick the lock but they seemed pretty damn solid. "I was so used to getting nothing I wanted that I hollowed it all out. Hell, being terminal was just the kick I needed to rid myself of all that ugly humanity. Now look at me? I'm actually happy."
"There's no point in me being happy. I've just got to be stubborn enough to keep the devil out. There's another guy who really likes the sound of his own voice. Lucifer never really shuts up." Even now he felt like he could hear him at the back of his head. As if he was sitting on the backseat, commenting on what Sam was doing. Mocking him for it.
Sam kept driving. No one else was really around. They were pretty out there and he just happened to know that there was a chapel alongside that road. Holy ground, or close enough to it anyway. A place he could use for this, once he put all the necessary wards up.
"I think there's no point to you being happy either."
"Why?" Harry protested as he watched them drift further and further from the city roads and off into the sticks. This was not good. He looked around and then eyed up the car door. He tried the handle. Locked. Fuck, he didn't want to know what Sam was planning but it didn't sound exactly wholesome or nice.
"Come on, man. This isn't cool. We were friends, pals, you gotta at least give me a break cause of that. I mean, yeah, no, I worked against you but I gave up where the horsemen were. And I didn't bullshit you." He didn't have a choice but he was working with very little for negotiation here. "Whatever you want to do... don't do it."
"No wonder you were never in sales. Some of you demons can talk a good game. Even Lucifer's has gotten me to consider things once or twice." Sam shrugged, deciding to speed up the car. He wanted to get there before sunset, to get started. Seemed more atmospheric that way. Had to have good lighting for the start of the ritual. "Although maybe that's what's made me immune. Nothing you can come up with to ever make me change my mind, not after the devil himself has failed."
He didn't have many successes in life and the ones he had were always tainted with failure as well. But at least Lucifer was in his damn cage right now.
"Yeah, it kind of sucks to be the man who follows the devil." Harry wasn't exactly a big leaguer. He was the horseman's assistant for a while and now he most just pulled in souls and avoided going into hell. He wasn't really a salesman. He never wanted to be. He just wanted to enjoy himself, live his life and not think of consequences.
Living forever in style was all he wanted. Thank God, he'd had it for longer than he would have as a human. Not that Sam could appreciate that.
Sam said nothing until he'd parked his car by the chapel. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "Sure. Why not?"
With that, he got out and walked around the car. He stopped at the boot to get a few things out and then opened the passenger side. Grabbing Harry by the arm, he pulled him out and dragged him along into the building, where he walked him by the rows of pews. He stopped in front of the altar, letting go of him. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
"It's holy ground. Why are we on -- you're a giant dickweed." Harry snarled in annoyance as he stumbled along after Sam, not sure what his best option was here. If he was going to be slowly tortured to death, he had to at least attempt an escape. Once Sam let go of him and talked about getting a chair, Harry didn't hesitated.
He ran. He hauled ass out of the other exit, running the complete opposite direction of Sam. Whatever this fucker was planning, he wasn't going to just let him do it.
Sam had his gun out in no time, shooting twice. Once into each leg, right at kneecap, hitting Harry with rock salt.
"Thanks," he said it drily, "I really wanted an excuse to do that."
He could definitely get into the spirit of this.
While Harry was on the ground, trying to force himself up, Sam used a spray can to draw a devil's trap. Then, before closing it, he walked over and hauled Harry to his feet, so he could drag him over there again. Once inside the almost completed trap, he dropped him.
"Remember when I picked you up after another one of your benders?" There, he had memories too. He stepped back and completed the trap, then looked down at Harry. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
"Dickhead!" Harry yelled as he groaned in pain, both knees screaming in pain. He tried to get up and wriggle of out of Sam's hold but by the time the stupid trap was down, he couldn't move anyway. He lay on his back, panting in pain as he stared up at the ceiling. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He couldn't even make a call, he didn't have any blood avaliable.
By the time Sam came back with his stupid chair, Harry had managed to pull himself upright. "You self righteous piece of shit. I always fucking hated that. Sitting there, talking about changing the world and helping people. So up your own fucking ass!"
"I don't think I'm changing much of anything. Definitely not helping anyone. Ridding myself of one annoying demon. I'm just being a selfish piece of shit, get it right." Sam set the chair down and then hauled Harry up into it.
He used zip ties to fix Harry's cuffed hands to one armrest, then used some more zip ties to tied his legs and the rest of his body to the chair, until he wasn't going to get much movement in when struggling.
"What is it you liked to say?" Sam took a step back and looked at Harry. "Let's get this party started."
Harry looked down at himself and then back up at Sam, unsure and unhappy with his current state. "I don't know what you think this is going to achieve. It's too late. Jess is dead, I'm long gone, buddy and so is Lucifer. Look at it this way - you're winning as is. This is just needless. Perverse. I mean, what a miscarriage of justice."
He doubted Sam cared about these things, he didn't seem to have much caring in him today. Where was his empathic, soft hearted boy? He really wished he was playing with him right now.
"I don't know if I ever believed in justice. I just really, truly hoped that it exists. I hoped that of a lot of things." Sam looked down at Harry now and he swallowed. That cold rage inside him, it was threatening to tip over. Sad. He was so very sad.
"You know, I never really let myself make an actual friend. Not until I met you. I remember going to the dorm after the first time you talked to me, before we met up, and I was giving myself the spiel of how I don't need anyone, can't trust anyone, shouldn't let anyone get close. But then I caught myself. Remembered that my dad and Matty weren't around. That I could have a friend." Sam shook his head and then just looked up. Still had to do confession.
"I saw a big guy who could keep me safe and carry me home when I'm loaded. I didn't care about you like that, lughead. Besides, I was bored - you were my project." Harry was lying but lies were fun. He had to hurt Sam because Sam was about to hurt him and he didn't want to be caught in the onslaught without defending himself. "You ever want to feel good about yourself? Give a wetback a makeover."
He waggled his eyebrows at Sam playfully, just going as deep as he could get.
"Now we've both confesses, want to forgive and forget?" Harry asked as he tugged against the cable ties. "What do you say, Sammy? Start fresh? You might like the new me. I still party."
"Y'know, it probably wouldn't have mattered. I was very desperate to not feel alone back then." Only he knew that wasn't it. He knew that he had known Harry for real back when he'd seen his humanity. "I've gotten used to the loneliness by now. Safer that way, anyway."
He shrugged and stepped outside the circle, so he could walk over to the confessional. "I need to confess properly. Then I'll show you how I party."
That said he walked into the confession booth, shutting the door behind himself.
While Sam disappeared into the confessional, Harry sensed the end was nigh and started to drum his hands on the arm rests of his chair. He heard Sam whispering but he couldn't make anything out. Tragic.
"Hear the sound of the falling rain. Coming down like an Armageddon flame. Hey! The shame, the ones who died without a name. Hear the dogs howling out of key to a hymn called "Faith and Misery" and bleed, the company lost the war today." Harry sang obnoxiously, loudly, just wanting to distract Sam with a song that meant something to him and Sam once. Drunk, listening to music, experiencing rock for the first time.
Harry had paid excessive amounts to take Sam to Green Day, insisting he had to experience his first concert in person. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives."
He licked his tongue and remembered what it was like, standing among a sweaty mass of people, his forehead pressed against Sam's as he looked deep into his eyes and then kissed him. Dismissed it as fun, nothing more. Ah, to be human and so very weak.
Sam was crying. Properly crying, with tears streaming down his face. There was a demon singing right outside, that was reason enough to keep from sobbing. Tears, though, he wasn't stopping them. It was almost a relief to feel something as simple as sadness. Loss. Mourning what had long since ceased feeling real to him.
He confessed all the things that the person he had once thought he could be would hate him for. It was a long list. He wished there wasn't a part of him wondering what Matty would have had to add to it. What his father would have to say.
With his memories of a concert that had felt like a turning point, like the best moment of his life, he stepped out of the confessional. Tear tracks were pretty obvious, as were his red-rimmed eyes. He walked up to Harry and said nothing, simply rolled up his sleeve. This was going to be painful.
"You seem to be a touch emotional today, Sam. You always told me to not make big decisions when upset." Harry attempted as he looked at how utterly miserable Sam seemed, rolling up his sleeves for God knows why. Not wanting blood on his sleeves? He winced, tilting his head back. Normally he'd revel in the misery of a Tenaz but right now, it was precarious.
"Let's be honest here, you're a shell of who you were. I noticed since we first hooked up tonight. How about you take a seat on that pew and tell me all your sins. We can dissect together before, yeah, before you go a little crazy." He looked up at Sam, trying to adopt the most human guise he could. Wet eyes, looking as concerned as he could muster, like his old pal from college.
"Cute. You're good at it. The act." No surprise there. He supposed he had fooled him for years.
Sometimes Sam wondered how many others there might have been in his life that were only Lucifer's agents. In the end, he wasn't sure whether anyone could have hurt as much as Harry.
He shook his head and got the syringe out of his pocket. After clenching one hand into a fist, he quickly found the right vein and extracted some blood. Then he moved forward, so he could hold Harry's hair and hold him in place, injecting the blood right into his neck.
"Ah. Fuck. Wh-- What did you just do?!" Did he just inject blood into him? Why? Harry hissed in pain and closed his eyes as he waited for the sting to go away. "Come on, if you're going to shoot me up, at least go for my old favourite. Heroin, now there was something."
He opened his eyes, shaking his head to try and get the feeling away from his neck. "I miss it. One thing I miss from being human, the ability to get high as a kite. Of course, it was always nicer when afterwards, I had a big, strong boy to carry me back to the dorm."
They shared that dorm for two years and it had been fantastic. It was their kingdom, no one else could tell them what to do. No fathers, no outsiders - only Jess was allowed in. Jess. "You wanna know what his biggest regret was? Little Harry?"
"I'm sure he had a lot of them. Probably never kicking his dad in the balls." There was that. Sam could relate to that. He checked his watch to be sure of the time. One hour from now. He knew they'd have to get a few doses into this before any changes would kick in. He had been there with Aleister.
Something about this being Harry made it harder at the same time as easier. "What was his biggest regret?"
"Introducing you to Jess. God, he didn't think you'd hit it off as hard as you did. Such an idiot. It broke his heart. And when you left the dorm to move in with Jess? Oh, he cried on your bed for a month. It's funny, I think that hurt more than the cancer." Pathetic, sad little human emotions, they always did wreck everything. "He went from your one and only to your third wheel. Devastating. And he couldn't even hate her cause he loved her. Who didn't?"
Jess was adored by everyone and with good cause. She was just genuinely a good person. Harry had hated that. Hated it as much as Sam falling for her. "When he sold his soul, he didn't think he had any reason to live. The odd one out. He was glad Jess died. It was a nice little benefit in the end."
"No. He'd never have been glad about that." Sam refused to even entertain the thought, dismissing it outright. Everything else, he had to even begin wrapping his head around. It was all to be viewed through a demon filter anyway. Lying, manipulative, cheating bastards, all of them. But no matter what, he'd never believe that Harry could have wanted Jess dead.
He shook his head, then sat down on the floor. Apparently he wasn't going to leave the way he had with Aleister. "I'm sorry I hurt him. I never knew."
Whether what the demon was telling him was real or not, Sam's emotions were.
"Liar. You hurt everyone you've ever known. There's a little piece of Lucifer in you. Always. And that's all your life will ever bring - misery and pain for those around you."
Harry huffed in annoyance and wished he could scratch at his neck. Holy ground, confessional and now blood injections. It was a ritual but for what. What was the hell was Sam doing? And how was this torture - what was going to happen when he was done. "You keep looking at your watch - why?"
"All I ever do is hurt people," Sam agreed, "It's all I've ever done. Maybe all I can do. But I didn't want to hurt Harry. I wanted to save him."
He had to smile at that, in the way that brought tears to his eyes again. Instead of engaging with that, he looked at his watch once more, then back at Harry. "You get an injection once every hour. Eight in total. Purified blood, since I've just confessed. Demon curing ritual."
Figured that Harry would be too insignificant to know about these things. "It's what happened to Aleister."
"What!?" Harry's eyes widened and the panic set in fast as he started to wriggle in protest. He was tied pretty firm but he was fight against it hopelessly. He was going to end up some cured little wuss like Aleister? And then what? It didn't bear even thinking about.
"You fucking son of a bitch! Undo me now! I will not go back, I am a demon! I'm a fucking demon!" Harry cursed as he growled at Sam, anger and scared. "I won't let you!"
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waywarddone2024-09-25 02:16 pm
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"Then again, I was empty inside to begin with it. I just hid it better." He didn't remember what it was like to be human but he knew what he thought and felt. Now memories worked once for him. Every memory was hollow, devoid of feeling but fact was there. It never went away.
"I smiled and I pretended and you never knew." Harry wondered if he could pick the lock but they seemed pretty damn solid. "I was so used to getting nothing I wanted that I hollowed it all out. Hell, being terminal was just the kick I needed to rid myself of all that ugly humanity. Now look at me? I'm actually happy."
He laughed and then smiled at Sam. "Are you?"
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Sam kept driving. No one else was really around. They were pretty out there and he just happened to know that there was a chapel alongside that road. Holy ground, or close enough to it anyway. A place he could use for this, once he put all the necessary wards up.
"I think there's no point to you being happy either."
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"Come on, man. This isn't cool. We were friends, pals, you gotta at least give me a break cause of that. I mean, yeah, no, I worked against you but I gave up where the horsemen were. And I didn't bullshit you." He didn't have a choice but he was working with very little for negotiation here. "Whatever you want to do... don't do it."
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He didn't have many successes in life and the ones he had were always tainted with failure as well. But at least Lucifer was in his damn cage right now.
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Living forever in style was all he wanted. Thank God, he'd had it for longer than he would have as a human. Not that Sam could appreciate that.
"So what, you're going to torture me to death?"
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With that, he got out and walked around the car. He stopped at the boot to get a few things out and then opened the passenger side. Grabbing Harry by the arm, he pulled him out and dragged him along into the building, where he walked him by the rows of pews. He stopped in front of the altar, letting go of him. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
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He ran. He hauled ass out of the other exit, running the complete opposite direction of Sam. Whatever this fucker was planning, he wasn't going to just let him do it.
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"Thanks," he said it drily, "I really wanted an excuse to do that."
He could definitely get into the spirit of this.
While Harry was on the ground, trying to force himself up, Sam used a spray can to draw a devil's trap. Then, before closing it, he walked over and hauled Harry to his feet, so he could drag him over there again. Once inside the almost completed trap, he dropped him.
"Remember when I picked you up after another one of your benders?" There, he had memories too. He stepped back and completed the trap, then looked down at Harry. "Stay here a sec, I'll get you a chair."
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By the time Sam came back with his stupid chair, Harry had managed to pull himself upright. "You self righteous piece of shit. I always fucking hated that. Sitting there, talking about changing the world and helping people. So up your own fucking ass!"
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He used zip ties to fix Harry's cuffed hands to one armrest, then used some more zip ties to tied his legs and the rest of his body to the chair, until he wasn't going to get much movement in when struggling.
"What is it you liked to say?" Sam took a step back and looked at Harry. "Let's get this party started."
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Harry looked down at himself and then back up at Sam, unsure and unhappy with his current state. "I don't know what you think this is going to achieve. It's too late. Jess is dead, I'm long gone, buddy and so is Lucifer. Look at it this way - you're winning as is. This is just needless. Perverse. I mean, what a miscarriage of justice."
He doubted Sam cared about these things, he didn't seem to have much caring in him today. Where was his empathic, soft hearted boy? He really wished he was playing with him right now.
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"You know, I never really let myself make an actual friend. Not until I met you. I remember going to the dorm after the first time you talked to me, before we met up, and I was giving myself the spiel of how I don't need anyone, can't trust anyone, shouldn't let anyone get close. But then I caught myself. Remembered that my dad and Matty weren't around. That I could have a friend." Sam shook his head and then just looked up. Still had to do confession.
What a joke. "Forgive me."
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He waggled his eyebrows at Sam playfully, just going as deep as he could get.
"Now we've both confesses, want to forgive and forget?" Harry asked as he tugged against the cable ties. "What do you say, Sammy? Start fresh? You might like the new me. I still party."
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He shrugged and stepped outside the circle, so he could walk over to the confessional. "I need to confess properly. Then I'll show you how I party."
That said he walked into the confession booth, shutting the door behind himself.
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"Hear the sound of the falling rain. Coming down like an Armageddon flame. Hey! The shame, the ones who died without a name. Hear the dogs howling out of key to a hymn called "Faith and Misery" and bleed, the company lost the war today." Harry sang obnoxiously, loudly, just wanting to distract Sam with a song that meant something to him and Sam once. Drunk, listening to music, experiencing rock for the first time.
Harry had paid excessive amounts to take Sam to Green Day, insisting he had to experience his first concert in person. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives."
He licked his tongue and remembered what it was like, standing among a sweaty mass of people, his forehead pressed against Sam's as he looked deep into his eyes and then kissed him. Dismissed it as fun, nothing more. Ah, to be human and so very weak.
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He confessed all the things that the person he had once thought he could be would hate him for. It was a long list. He wished there wasn't a part of him wondering what Matty would have had to add to it. What his father would have to say.
With his memories of a concert that had felt like a turning point, like the best moment of his life, he stepped out of the confessional. Tear tracks were pretty obvious, as were his red-rimmed eyes. He walked up to Harry and said nothing, simply rolled up his sleeve. This was going to be painful.
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"Let's be honest here, you're a shell of who you were. I noticed since we first hooked up tonight. How about you take a seat on that pew and tell me all your sins. We can dissect together before, yeah, before you go a little crazy." He looked up at Sam, trying to adopt the most human guise he could. Wet eyes, looking as concerned as he could muster, like his old pal from college.
"Let's talk, man."
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Sometimes Sam wondered how many others there might have been in his life that were only Lucifer's agents. In the end, he wasn't sure whether anyone could have hurt as much as Harry.
He shook his head and got the syringe out of his pocket. After clenching one hand into a fist, he quickly found the right vein and extracted some blood. Then he moved forward, so he could hold Harry's hair and hold him in place, injecting the blood right into his neck.
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He opened his eyes, shaking his head to try and get the feeling away from his neck. "I miss it. One thing I miss from being human, the ability to get high as a kite. Of course, it was always nicer when afterwards, I had a big, strong boy to carry me back to the dorm."
They shared that dorm for two years and it had been fantastic. It was their kingdom, no one else could tell them what to do. No fathers, no outsiders - only Jess was allowed in. Jess. "You wanna know what his biggest regret was? Little Harry?"
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Something about this being Harry made it harder at the same time as easier. "What was his biggest regret?"
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Jess was adored by everyone and with good cause. She was just genuinely a good person. Harry had hated that. Hated it as much as Sam falling for her. "When he sold his soul, he didn't think he had any reason to live. The odd one out. He was glad Jess died. It was a nice little benefit in the end."
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He shook his head, then sat down on the floor. Apparently he wasn't going to leave the way he had with Aleister. "I'm sorry I hurt him. I never knew."
Whether what the demon was telling him was real or not, Sam's emotions were.
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Harry huffed in annoyance and wished he could scratch at his neck. Holy ground, confessional and now blood injections. It was a ritual but for what. What was the hell was Sam doing? And how was this torture - what was going to happen when he was done. "You keep looking at your watch - why?"
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He had to smile at that, in the way that brought tears to his eyes again. Instead of engaging with that, he looked at his watch once more, then back at Harry. "You get an injection once every hour. Eight in total. Purified blood, since I've just confessed. Demon curing ritual."
Figured that Harry would be too insignificant to know about these things. "It's what happened to Aleister."
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"You fucking son of a bitch! Undo me now! I will not go back, I am a demon! I'm a fucking demon!" Harry cursed as he growled at Sam, anger and scared. "I won't let you!"
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