"They are. Fresh, not those plastic ones. We're not cheap, darling. We're worth every expense." And he hoped if he kept saying it, maybe Bobby would buy himself something. Like a new hat. Or new shoes. An entirely new wardrobe. Maybe. A guy could dream. "There's no hazard, controlling fire is like demonics 101. Everything is fine. Stop -- doing that."
He gestured vaguely at Bobby. "Just sit and pour yourself a drink. Don't worry, I'm a gentleman. We won't fuck on the first date... wait, sorry, make love." They were classy." We're just drinking, it's what you'd do anyway but now it's less sad because I'm here." And wasn't that easier. "Pressures off, Robert. Now breathe."
Pressure off when there was Alistair calling him Robert in that way, the way that Bobby didn't mind but that made his heart seize up? When there were rose petals, approximately a hundred candles and even the vague possibility of anything like fucking. Making love.
Bobby scoffed because it was easier than any other way he could think to express himself. He did move over, only looking a little as if he thought Alistair could bite and maybe showing some hint about how he might not entirely mind a bite or two. Then he sat down, frowning at the pile of magazines. He was going to fix that later. "Y'know, you don't gotta clean up around here. Ain't your mess."
"I have to clean or I wouldn't sit down. It's fine, it doesn't take effort." He flicked his fingers and the papers on the floor floated up and landed onto Bobby's desk. Aleister was no simple demon, he was someone who used a lot of magical shortcuts to get through life. Why shy away from magic? It was beyond handy yet many demons did. "Besides, when would you have the time. I've watched you. Back and forth to the phones, to the books, to whatever car there is and then the phones again. It gives me a bloody headache when I visit, I don't know why you do it."
Well, he did but he still found it strange. He poured himself a drink and then held it up towards Bobby in a cheers. "To interesting new potentials."
"To that," Bobby agreed, lifting up the glass Aleister had poured for him before. Maybe a bit of a buzz would make those new potentials seem less intimidating. He took a generous few sips and then set the glass back down, shrugging. "It ain't not biggie. I've been doing it for a while like that, you get used to it. Been working all my life, ain't gonna change it now."
Honestly, he didn't think he could have even if he'd wanted to. "You ain't that different though. Always busy, always got a lot of fingers in a lot of pots." Bit like a spider with all his plans and his scheming.
"Oh, I've been married to my job before I even had a job. I think I entered this world planning my weeks out meticulously. What do they say again? The devil is in the details." And to Aleister, it had always mattered. He couldn't work out why but it was just this innate sense of order inside of him. Chaos was messy and boring, demons had no vision or ability to control themselves. He liked to be different. "Though let's be honest, of course we're busy people. What else are we going to do?"
He knew he was too ambitious to sit still and he had no idea else to distract him from it. He assumed Bobby was somewhat similar. "A lack of ... personableness, it makes for more productivity." Translate: Lonely people work more.
"I reckon you're right." Couldn't deny that. Bobby didn't like being alone with his thoughts and keeping busy was a way to avoid that. "Idle hands are the devil's playthings."
The moment he finished uttering the idiom, his brain caught up, connected the dots and he felt heat rising in his face. He turned to look anywhere but at Aleister and reached for his glass again to take a sip. Damn. Dating really was easier back in the day when it was just about taking the pretty girl out in a car. Or a tractor, for that matter.
"Oh, they are indeed. The things you could do with your hands. I'm an open canvas, darling. You can paint me any time." He found being forward was the best way to handle this relationship or whatever it was. If he kept pushing forward, it kept working. And the more he did it, the more Bobby actually did seem to adjust. Though there was a fine line, of course.
"You really are overthinking it. I can tell. I can see your mind just ticking away." He reached his hand out and placed it on Bobby's thigh. There, simple. "Romance me like you'd romance any woman, it's the same thing."
Karen would have liked Aleister, Bobby suddenly realised with more clarity than he cared for. Usually any thoughts of Karen came unbidden and were buried immediately, but this one, combined with what Aleister was saying and, more importantly, saying? He sat there, stiff and staring down at the hand on his thigh. Oh, yeah. Karen would think that Aleister had the right idea with his strategy there.
"That's how I romance women." He considered that, then clarified. "Woman. Ain't really... Ain't ever been more than one."
He frowned, then looked up to actually meet Aleister's eyes. "If she'd not have pulled me behind that haybale, I reckon I'd still be a virgin."
"You lost your virginity behind a haybale?" Why was that really sexy to him? No, seriously, why? What was wrong with him? What was it about this stupid backwater hick that got his motor running and what went wrong for him to be this horny over that shitty baseball cap and the muddy shoes he walked in the house? And God, the smell of motor oil. It was hot. "So you're a one woman sort of man. Monogamy. Hmm. Nothing we can't work with. Life, Robert, is about new experiences."
And it was time to experience the world in a new, different way. At least in his eyes. "I wish I could give you the same earnest spiel but I'm a demon. I'll be honest - I'm a bit of a slut." He had more fucks under his belt that he should probably divulge here. "But--"
Apparently vulnerable moments was something Bobby was looking for so what the hell. "I've never actually done the -- relationship thing. Love is a foreign idea to me, in life and in death."
"I knew the slut part." Hey, he wasn't entirely oblivious here and Aleister's reputation certainly proceeded him. Setting aside the fact that his job somehow relied on him regularly closing deals by kissing people. Bobby wasn't sure how he felt about that. He was kinda trying to get with a centuries old demon, seemed pointless to get hung up on a body count. Any kind of body count.
"I ain't done the relationship since my wife died. And, honestly? I kinda mostly fucked up a lot back then." Granted, they'd been young. They'd been young and he'd been himself. "We'll just... I dunno. We can see what happens. But everything I touch tends to break. When it's about people, anyway."
"I'm not exactly breakable but it's cute you're worried about little old me." He didn't think he was in any danger of getting his heart broken. He didn't have much of one anyway and rejection was not a stranger to him. It didn't really sting much any more. "Of all the things that worry me about this little flirtation with a romantic thing, you being the one to 'break' or ruin is not high on my list."
The top of his list was himself, Lucifer, homophobia and a ghost wife coming back from the dead. It just seemed like something that could happen.
"Besides, a little breaking isn't a bad things." He winked at Bobby and then sipped his whiskey. "Getting ruined in the right way is an experience, dear."
"Hm." Bobby just made that noise and his eyes wandered. He didn't mean for them to, but they somehow did. Alistair looked good in candle light, he assumed that's why he was so fond of candles. He didn't know much about suits, but he could tell that Alistair was wearing a very well made suit. Over a frame that he couldn't entirely judge, yet somehow imagine what it would feel like if they were pressed against each other.
He reached for his glass and missed, too busy staring at Alistair's hip. So he looked over and picked the glass up, simply emptying it this time. Damn. "Pour me some more."
Maybe he just needed liquid courage. "What it boils down to is that I ain't used to casual. Ain't sure I could do it, I ain't a kid any more." And he hadn't been good at it as a kid either.
Aleister poured him another drink and set the bottle aside, watching Bobby curiously. He was working up his nerve, he could see that. Now, he could just make the first move himself but if he kept doing that, he had no proof of how much Bobby wanted this, despite how he talked. So he was waiting. When Bobby kissed him, it was all ready, set and go. For now, he played it coy. Somewhat.
"You want a commitment? On the first date?" He had to smile at it. It was so powerfully, dopily earnest and he wanted to laugh at it but he didn't. He liked it. He liked that bobby wanted something real. He liked that they were even having this talk. "I do appreciate a man who says what he wants."
And he found it sexy too. People with a game plan were so hot. "It's not a dalliance, love. If it was, I'd be in your lap already going for it."
"You'd get some rock salt pumped into you if you went for that. For a dalliance." Which all sounded more sexual than Bobby had intended for it to. That always seemed to happen around Aleister, he wouldn't be surprised if it was somehow part of the demon's powerset. could also just be because somehow at some point, earlier than he'd have wanted to admit to, Bobby had started to think of the smug bastard as sexy.
Slick, prissy and dangerous, but also sexy.
"I'm just saying. I reckon extra-marital relations with a demon ain't worth the risk if it's for... Whatever they call it these days." Dalliance, Aleister had said. Bobby reached for his glass and drank more than one sip. The buzz was helping.
"Oooh, promises, promises. Whatever you're into, I will oblige. Pain can be a pleasurable thing." Especially after some whiskey and with the right sort of fella. He knocked back the rest of his whiskey and poured himself a bit more, going easy on it so he didn't get himself drunk. He wanted to stay somewhat on the level.
"There's no risk, don't worry." He would point out he already had his soul but he felt that would kill the mood. "Demons aren't like a evil STD and I'll have you know I have five star reviews."
And, because he just had to tease him while he was taking a sip of his whiskey, he added: "I'll bottom the first time, don't worry. I'm happy to be the girl for you."
"Wha-?" It wasn't an especially intelligent sound. In fact, Bobby felt oddly reminded of the way his two dumb boys would sound when he told them something new. He cleared his throat to get away from seeming like an idjit, yet his expression was still baffled. "You ain't a girl."
He felt that needed stating. Evidently. "I don't care how many skirts you wore, you're definitely no girl. I don't mind, I'm just sayin'."
Wait, demon. "You ain't gotta change how you appear or nothing either. Just be yourself. That's what I li-- Yanno. What I'm used to."
He still felt as if he was missing some link there. Bottom. STD. Girl? The girl thing was tripping him up. "I know how to get a man off. I am one. Seems a lot easier than with womenfolk."
"Huh." Well. That was a lot at once. No changing, he liked him how he was and he was ready to jack him off. Sweet. "They're kilts. Not skirts."
He decided to start with that part as he came closer to Bobby and just reached out to playfully knock that stupid hat off his head and get a better look at his eyes. "When I say girl, I mean the biblical sense. And that isn't helping, is it? Okay, darling, look. Some men pitch, some catch. Some give, some receive. Some are on top, some are on bottom."
He playfully stroked his cheek. "Some put their dick inside, some happily ride it. You catch my drift?"
"Ah." It kind of helped to hear that explanation. If helping meant to feel himself die inside and curl up to try and hide from the world until all the embarrassment died down, anyway. Bobby stared at, as he realised too late, Aleister's lower lip and he genuinely wasn't sure what to say.
"Never thought that much about that. Seems like a lot of fuss when you can just use hands." Sodomy, obviously, was against the bible. But so was a lot of stuff Bobby did on the daily, he didn't care about that. It was just... "Sounds painful."
"Only if you don't know what you're doing. The prostate is a wonderful thing, my dear. Some of my best orgasms. But we'll work up to that slowly. I assume 'sodomy' as you might say is a tricky one to wrap your head around from the generation traumatised by Deliverance." He already knew that Bobby's mind was doing, overthinking it and seeing it as some unromantic, painful thing. Unnatural. Sinning.
So cute. He smiled at Bobby, just really endeared as he leaned in close to him. "That stuff is later. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, let's keep it simple. Something like a kiss."
"What, you do those without contracts?" Bobby said it with some amusement in his voice, deciding that joking about that was better than to admit that he had never really heard the word prostate outside of the context of needing to have it checked because he'd entered some sort of risk group.
Compared to that train of thought, dealing with Aleister by now basically on his lap and talking about kissing was easy as pie. "If you want a kiss, you better focus up this time. No time to take pictures."
"But then how do we cherish the memories?" Crowley teased as he shifted closer and yeah, he was almost in his lap at this point but he felt the vibe, he knew it was coming. He had already kissed Bobby, it was time for Bobby to kiss back. And he could see it now, the way he kept looking at his lips and the singular focus.
"I'm all yours, darling. There's no one else I want to focus on but you."
Before Bobby could chicken out of it, he dared himself and went for it. Aleister's lips were just as he remembered, pliant and ready and skilled, as was everything about the demon. Of course he was skilled, given the amount of practise. Bobby doubted he could come even close to matching up, but at least it was a willing kiss and there was some enthusiasm, in spite of the uncertainly gnawing away at him. Overthinking, as Aleister had called out before.
He broke away slowly, his hand now resting against Aleister's cheek. He looked at him and wondered whether he had anything good to say here. He knew he didn't have the way with words that Aleister had and he didn't want to end up feeling stupid. "Better deal this time."
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He gestured vaguely at Bobby. "Just sit and pour yourself a drink. Don't worry, I'm a gentleman. We won't fuck on the first date... wait, sorry, make love." They were classy." We're just drinking, it's what you'd do anyway but now it's less sad because I'm here." And wasn't that easier. "Pressures off, Robert. Now breathe."
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Bobby scoffed because it was easier than any other way he could think to express himself. He did move over, only looking a little as if he thought Alistair could bite and maybe showing some hint about how he might not entirely mind a bite or two. Then he sat down, frowning at the pile of magazines. He was going to fix that later. "Y'know, you don't gotta clean up around here. Ain't your mess."
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Well, he did but he still found it strange. He poured himself a drink and then held it up towards Bobby in a cheers. "To interesting new potentials."
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Honestly, he didn't think he could have even if he'd wanted to. "You ain't that different though. Always busy, always got a lot of fingers in a lot of pots." Bit like a spider with all his plans and his scheming.
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He knew he was too ambitious to sit still and he had no idea else to distract him from it. He assumed Bobby was somewhat similar. "A lack of ... personableness, it makes for more productivity." Translate: Lonely people work more.
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The moment he finished uttering the idiom, his brain caught up, connected the dots and he felt heat rising in his face. He turned to look anywhere but at Aleister and reached for his glass again to take a sip. Damn. Dating really was easier back in the day when it was just about taking the pretty girl out in a car. Or a tractor, for that matter.
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"You really are overthinking it. I can tell. I can see your mind just ticking away." He reached his hand out and placed it on Bobby's thigh. There, simple. "Romance me like you'd romance any woman, it's the same thing."
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"That's how I romance women." He considered that, then clarified. "Woman. Ain't really... Ain't ever been more than one."
He frowned, then looked up to actually meet Aleister's eyes. "If she'd not have pulled me behind that haybale, I reckon I'd still be a virgin."
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And it was time to experience the world in a new, different way. At least in his eyes. "I wish I could give you the same earnest spiel but I'm a demon. I'll be honest - I'm a bit of a slut." He had more fucks under his belt that he should probably divulge here. "But--"
Apparently vulnerable moments was something Bobby was looking for so what the hell. "I've never actually done the -- relationship thing. Love is a foreign idea to me, in life and in death."
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"I ain't done the relationship since my wife died. And, honestly? I kinda mostly fucked up a lot back then." Granted, they'd been young. They'd been young and he'd been himself. "We'll just... I dunno. We can see what happens. But everything I touch tends to break. When it's about people, anyway."
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The top of his list was himself, Lucifer, homophobia and a ghost wife coming back from the dead. It just seemed like something that could happen.
"Besides, a little breaking isn't a bad things." He winked at Bobby and then sipped his whiskey. "Getting ruined in the right way is an experience, dear."
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He reached for his glass and missed, too busy staring at Alistair's hip. So he looked over and picked the glass up, simply emptying it this time. Damn. "Pour me some more."
Maybe he just needed liquid courage. "What it boils down to is that I ain't used to casual. Ain't sure I could do it, I ain't a kid any more." And he hadn't been good at it as a kid either.
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"You want a commitment? On the first date?" He had to smile at it. It was so powerfully, dopily earnest and he wanted to laugh at it but he didn't. He liked it. He liked that bobby wanted something real. He liked that they were even having this talk. "I do appreciate a man who says what he wants."
And he found it sexy too. People with a game plan were so hot. "It's not a dalliance, love. If it was, I'd be in your lap already going for it."
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Slick, prissy and dangerous, but also sexy.
"I'm just saying. I reckon extra-marital relations with a demon ain't worth the risk if it's for... Whatever they call it these days." Dalliance, Aleister had said. Bobby reached for his glass and drank more than one sip. The buzz was helping.
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"There's no risk, don't worry." He would point out he already had his soul but he felt that would kill the mood. "Demons aren't like a evil STD and I'll have you know I have five star reviews."
And, because he just had to tease him while he was taking a sip of his whiskey, he added: "I'll bottom the first time, don't worry. I'm happy to be the girl for you."
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He felt that needed stating. Evidently. "I don't care how many skirts you wore, you're definitely no girl. I don't mind, I'm just sayin'."
Wait, demon. "You ain't gotta change how you appear or nothing either. Just be yourself. That's what I li-- Yanno. What I'm used to."
He still felt as if he was missing some link there. Bottom. STD. Girl? The girl thing was tripping him up. "I know how to get a man off. I am one. Seems a lot easier than with womenfolk."
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He decided to start with that part as he came closer to Bobby and just reached out to playfully knock that stupid hat off his head and get a better look at his eyes. "When I say girl, I mean the biblical sense. And that isn't helping, is it? Okay, darling, look. Some men pitch, some catch. Some give, some receive. Some are on top, some are on bottom."
He playfully stroked his cheek. "Some put their dick inside, some happily ride it. You catch my drift?"
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"Never thought that much about that. Seems like a lot of fuss when you can just use hands." Sodomy, obviously, was against the bible. But so was a lot of stuff Bobby did on the daily, he didn't care about that. It was just... "Sounds painful."
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So cute. He smiled at Bobby, just really endeared as he leaned in close to him. "That stuff is later. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, let's keep it simple. Something like a kiss."
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Compared to that train of thought, dealing with Aleister by now basically on his lap and talking about kissing was easy as pie. "If you want a kiss, you better focus up this time. No time to take pictures."
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"I'm all yours, darling. There's no one else I want to focus on but you."
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He broke away slowly, his hand now resting against Aleister's cheek. He looked at him and wondered whether he had anything good to say here. He knew he didn't have the way with words that Aleister had and he didn't want to end up feeling stupid. "Better deal this time."