waywarddone | The Final Countdown

Summoning Aleister was more trouble than it was worth for several reasons, chief among them how annoying the demon was. The other reason that stood out was that more often than anyone could ever want, Aleister turned out without any summoning being required. Only those damn times when Bobby wanted to talk to him the bastard was nowhere to be seen.

He finished the incantation, added some drops of blood and threw a match into the bowl, then leaned back against the desk, arms crossed. He assumed that, if nothing else, Aleister wasn't going to make him wait long. The demon was prompt, had to give him that.

"Do you ever clean?"

It seemed like a fair question to ask, as he leaned in the kitchen doorway, looking from the stack of crap all over the kitchen table to the chaos that was the living room. He eyed up a bunch of car parts sprayed across the living room and wondered why anyone would want to live like this. "Do you think demons never come after you because you live in a hovel? Because I actually think you're on the money."

"I clean plenty when I've got the time." Which was rare, admittedly. He kept busy. He had some leftovers in the fridge that he'd been meaning to eat for lunch and now it was quarter to midnight and he just hoped he could make it through talking to the King of the Crossroads without his stomach gurgling loudly.

"You know why demons don't come after me. Ain't enough to keep you away though, go figure." None of the enchantments, wards and other protective spells and items he had in place seemed to do much against Aleister. Had to be a crossroads thing, Bobby assumed. "Anyway. I ain't just hitting you up cause I'm lonely and fancy a chat. It's about the cage. The boys caught up to Death and he gave them the ring. He also said the time's ticking. What's he mean?"

"Why would I know?" He shrugged openly, not really bothering to lie in any way. He didn't see the point. He wanted them to win so he only said what he knew and didn't try to mislead. At least, not right now. "I assume Lucifer is his own ticking clock. Either that or you have something else to be worried about. Maybe there's another fun end of the world even waiting to kick off."

He just hoped these knuckleheads worked it out before it all got worse. "Look, you have to get that bastard into the cage and then --" And then it wouldn't exactly hold but they'd have more time to work it all out. "Then we'll iron out the kinks. Don't worry, darling. You have the best mind of the case."

"Do I? Because from where I'm at, what I've got is the two idjit brothers, their pet angel and whatever you're supposed to be." Questionable at best, if Bobby had to mince his words. Luckily, he didn't have to. "That's a shit deal, if you ask me. Especially with the youngin talkin' about doing himself in. Ain't no way I'm dealing with that being our best shot."

Yet here they were. "There's gotta be something here. You're gambling so high and you ain't stupid. You gotta know there's some secret ace that could come into play."

"Yes, well..." He swayed his head back to forth and then walked further into the room. "I'm afraid I'm lacking the warm and fuzzy feelings your young Moose gives you so I was honestly expecting him to handle it." It seemed like a smart plan, good on Sam for seeing some sense. If he took on Lucifer and fought him, they stood a pretty good chance. Sam would perish but the world would keep on going by. Happy days. Well, almost.

"But at the risk of souring our ever evolving relationship, I assume I should brainstorm other riskier options?" He tsked and sat himself on the arm of a chair. Not on it properly because he didn't trust it but he could perch and then have his coat dry cleaned later. "Let's see - end of the world. I forgot how it goes. Lucifer rises, has his prize fight with ... Michael, I believe and then either good or evil wins."

So there seemed at obvious alternative. "You found Michael yet?"

"According to Cas, who's our best source on all things angel, no one knows where Michael is." And wasn't that just peachy. "Given that the two other archangels are dead and gone, I ain't sure we stand much of a chance at him still being around."

So what did they do if that was their best bet? "But you're good at finding things, ain't you?" That was his whole shtick, other than being prissy and annoying and making questionable deals. "Michael's an archangel, I'm gonna guess they ain't that easy to summon?"

He'd never heard about anyone even attempting. But then, angel lore was hard to come by. "How would I even go about it, huh? If I wanted to try."

"So we lost Raphael and Gabriel then, right? And they didn't leave anything handy behind. Like a angel blade or a lucky feather?" Aleister asked, wondering if there was anything to gain from the lost angels. He assumed not, these idiots never collected the valuables, they just moved on with angst and bitching. Never were big picture people but that was fine, he admired their pluck anyway.

"I've never summoned an angel. Seems rather stupid of me to try." It wasn't really something he knew much about. "I know that each angel, and I assume Archangel, has a crest or a mark. Perhaps if you know Michael's, you can research deeper."

Otherwise, angels were a bit out of his elements. "Look, I'll ask around, I know some pagans with a grudge. They never did like the Judeo-Christian Bullshit." He looked at Bobby and then smirked. "Of course, I'll need a little... motivation to go out there. It's dark, it's cold and my neck is on the line." So why not score some love and affection? He waggled his eyebrows.

"Think Raphael left behind some porn." It was a strange thing to say, a strange thing to associate with the archangel, but so was everything he'd experienced from when he had posed as a janitor. Bobby had long since learned to roll with the punches. Up to a limit, anyway.

Because that eyebrow waggle made him furrow his eyebrows in a mix of confusion, repulsion and a silent 'fuck off with that'. "Fuck off with that." Maybe not all that silent. "You want to keep from the devil whooping your ass, last I checked. You ain't doing me a favour by helping. We both know that. Aleister helps himself."

"Actually, if I was helping myself, I wouldn't go looking for how we summon Michael. I'd say it's utterly, utterly hopeless and let your boy throw himself into a cage in a pit in the deepest depth of hell. That's the easy ways, that's a very clear solution." It would save his ass and hopefully keep Lucifer in that cage for a while. Sure, it wasn't a long-term fix but it had it's perks.

"I guess I'm just sweet on you." He enjoyed the way Bobby's face contorted, it always entertained him to deal with older guys. The deep-seated homophobia, the confusion, the shock. It was addictive. "The rings, that was a mutual benefit, but this is busy work." And one he would do. Why not? He was invested. "I'll also take a copy of that porn, if you have it."

"Yeah, I got a copy somewhere in the archives." Bobby indicated what did not look like an archive of any description and was, more accurately, a rusty old freezer chest that Bobby felt worked quite well with keeping some especially important items safe. Such as the porn made by the Archangel Raphael. Hallelujah.

However, now that he'd told Aleister that much, he had to deal with everything else that he was saying. "I know you ain't got any care yourself but if you think that Sam in that cage is a clear solution, you don't know Matty as well as you like to pretend."

Which Bobby assumed was true. Had to be difficult for any demon to understand how humans really ticked. "So a different solution is kinda needed. Don't think you need a kiss goodbye to pick up on that."

"Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Always so hostile. I don't need a kiss goodbye." Aleister debunked as he walked over to what was clearly a fucking freezer chest. He opened it and looked inside. Yes, it was a broke freezer chest. It had compartments. "I want a kiss goodbye. Very different."

He gestured at the freezer and looked at Bobby. "Are you kidding me with this?" It was ridiculous. He reached in and moved everything around until he found the angel porn. "I'm borrowing this. Could be useful. I'll return, don't worry. I don't know if angels tickle my fancy."

"No idea what tickles your fancy and I really don't wanna know. He ain't my type, tell you that much. Looks like a boy." Whatever his type in men might be, it certainly wasn't Raphael. Neither was the woman in it his type in women, not that he was sure what that was either. These days, more mature, a bit more natural. Well put together. Something like that, if he had to vaguely picture it.

"Take it. Knock yourself out. Return it though, I've got things organised in there." And, yeah, he gestured to the freezer chest again. It was in an order he knew, anyway.

"We should go furniture shopping together. And clean your windows. Do you get any natural light here or do those yellow stained blinds just give you the delightful lighting tone of urine?" The answer was yes, he had been here in the day. It was revolting, of course. He put the disk inside of his pocket and turned to Bobby, raising his eyebrows. "So you're not into young angelic twinks. Well, doesn't that just bode well for me?"

He smirked at the other before coming up to his desk and standing right in front of him. "I suppose I'm off. Any last tender, sweet words before I part?"

"Don't get your ass exorcised before you're done being helpful." There, Bobby felt that was nice. Frankly, for a known crank like him, it really might as well be some sweet nothings.

Maybe it was just a simple psychological thing that was happening. Sure, he was being flirted with by an untrustworthy piece of shit demon with a thousand agendas, but he was still being flirted with. Rather brazenly at times. That didn't usually happen and it was flattering in spite of the source and in spite of himself.

Also, somehow, he found Aleister entertaining, as annoying as he could be. It was fun watching the prissy snob turn his nose up at Bobby's place. Almost made him want to provoke it further.

So, yeah. Maybe he liked it when he came around. Just a bit. "See ya later."

"What? Too many candles?"

He did light a lot of candles but he wanted to set the mood and most of what he wanted to do had been vetoed like a romantic dinner because apparently it was weird when he didn't eat. Instead, he just got a bottle of Craig whiskey, some rose petals and a lot of candles. Seriously, he went ham. It was just funny to see how Bobby reacted, he couldn't help but grin at him.

"I have drinks, I cleaned up the sitting area and I rearranged your magazines because they were driving me insane." Well, they were basically all over everywhere so now, a nice neat pile to the side of the couch. Not on it. Or under it. "Sit, relax-- wash your hands first if you've touched car ... things."

"Car things?" Bobby asked it with amusement in his voice, wondering whether Alistair was simply more used to, what, carriage parts? Probably, back from when he had been human. Whatever, he walked over to the sink to wash his hands off any trace of car things and looked around. Everything was bathed in the golden sheen of candles. Hell, it was probably several degrees warmer in here because of it.

"This is a damn fire hazard." Seemed worth pointing out. Bobby turned around and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward. He couldn't remember the last time he had been on anything even close to a date and now he had one with a man. No. With a demon. A demon who was kind of fancy. He was out of his depth in so many way. "So. We-- Are those rose petals?"

What the hell?

"They are. Fresh, not those plastic ones. We're not cheap, darling. We're worth every expense." And he hoped if he kept saying it, maybe Bobby would buy himself something. Like a new hat. Or new shoes. An entirely new wardrobe. Maybe. A guy could dream. "There's no hazard, controlling fire is like demonics 101. Everything is fine. Stop -- doing that."

He gestured vaguely at Bobby. "Just sit and pour yourself a drink. Don't worry, I'm a gentleman. We won't fuck on the first date... wait, sorry, make love." They were classy." We're just drinking, it's what you'd do anyway but now it's less sad because I'm here." And wasn't that easier. "Pressures off, Robert. Now breathe."

Pressure off when there was Alistair calling him Robert in that way, the way that Bobby didn't mind but that made his heart seize up? When there were rose petals, approximately a hundred candles and even the vague possibility of anything like fucking. Making love.

Bobby scoffed because it was easier than any other way he could think to express himself. He did move over, only looking a little as if he thought Alistair could bite and maybe showing some hint about how he might not entirely mind a bite or two. Then he sat down, frowning at the pile of magazines. He was going to fix that later. "Y'know, you don't gotta clean up around here. Ain't your mess."

"I have to clean or I wouldn't sit down. It's fine, it doesn't take effort." He flicked his fingers and the papers on the floor floated up and landed onto Bobby's desk. Aleister was no simple demon, he was someone who used a lot of magical shortcuts to get through life. Why shy away from magic? It was beyond handy yet many demons did. "Besides, when would you have the time. I've watched you. Back and forth to the phones, to the books, to whatever car there is and then the phones again. It gives me a bloody headache when I visit, I don't know why you do it."

Well, he did but he still found it strange. He poured himself a drink and then held it up towards Bobby in a cheers. "To interesting new potentials."

"To that," Bobby agreed, lifting up the glass Aleister had poured for him before. Maybe a bit of a buzz would make those new potentials seem less intimidating. He took a generous few sips and then set the glass back down, shrugging. "It ain't not biggie. I've been doing it for a while like that, you get used to it. Been working all my life, ain't gonna change it now."

Honestly, he didn't think he could have even if he'd wanted to. "You ain't that different though. Always busy, always got a lot of fingers in a lot of pots." Bit like a spider with all his plans and his scheming.

"Oh, I've been married to my job before I even had a job. I think I entered this world planning my weeks out meticulously. What do they say again? The devil is in the details." And to Aleister, it had always mattered. He couldn't work out why but it was just this innate sense of order inside of him. Chaos was messy and boring, demons had no vision or ability to control themselves. He liked to be different. "Though let's be honest, of course we're busy people. What else are we going to do?"

He knew he was too ambitious to sit still and he had no idea else to distract him from it. He assumed Bobby was somewhat similar. "A lack of ... personableness, it makes for more productivity." Translate: Lonely people work more.

"I reckon you're right." Couldn't deny that. Bobby didn't like being alone with his thoughts and keeping busy was a way to avoid that. "Idle hands are the devil's playthings."

The moment he finished uttering the idiom, his brain caught up, connected the dots and he felt heat rising in his face. He turned to look anywhere but at Aleister and reached for his glass again to take a sip. Damn. Dating really was easier back in the day when it was just about taking the pretty girl out in a car. Or a tractor, for that matter.

"Oh, they are indeed. The things you could do with your hands. I'm an open canvas, darling. You can paint me any time." He found being forward was the best way to handle this relationship or whatever it was. If he kept pushing forward, it kept working. And the more he did it, the more Bobby actually did seem to adjust. Though there was a fine line, of course.

"You really are overthinking it. I can tell. I can see your mind just ticking away." He reached his hand out and placed it on Bobby's thigh. There, simple. "Romance me like you'd romance any woman, it's the same thing."

Karen would have liked Aleister, Bobby suddenly realised with more clarity than he cared for. Usually any thoughts of Karen came unbidden and were buried immediately, but this one, combined with what Aleister was saying and, more importantly, saying? He sat there, stiff and staring down at the hand on his thigh. Oh, yeah. Karen would think that Aleister had the right idea with his strategy there.

"That's how I romance women." He considered that, then clarified. "Woman. Ain't really... Ain't ever been more than one."

He frowned, then looked up to actually meet Aleister's eyes. "If she'd not have pulled me behind that haybale, I reckon I'd still be a virgin."

The Final Countdown

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject