Summoning Aleister was more trouble than it was worth for several reasons, chief among them how annoying the demon was. The other reason that stood out was that more often than anyone could ever want, Aleister turned out without any summoning being required. Only those damn times when Bobby wanted to talk to him the bastard was nowhere to be seen.
He finished the incantation, added some drops of blood and threw a match into the bowl, then leaned back against the desk, arms crossed. He assumed that, if nothing else, Aleister wasn't going to make him wait long. The demon was prompt, had to give him that.
It seemed like a fair question to ask, as he leaned in the kitchen doorway, looking from the stack of crap all over the kitchen table to the chaos that was the living room. He eyed up a bunch of car parts sprayed across the living room and wondered why anyone would want to live like this. "Do you think demons never come after you because you live in a hovel? Because I actually think you're on the money."
"I clean plenty when I've got the time." Which was rare, admittedly. He kept busy. He had some leftovers in the fridge that he'd been meaning to eat for lunch and now it was quarter to midnight and he just hoped he could make it through talking to the King of the Crossroads without his stomach gurgling loudly.
"You know why demons don't come after me. Ain't enough to keep you away though, go figure." None of the enchantments, wards and other protective spells and items he had in place seemed to do much against Aleister. Had to be a crossroads thing, Bobby assumed. "Anyway. I ain't just hitting you up cause I'm lonely and fancy a chat. It's about the cage. The boys caught up to Death and he gave them the ring. He also said the time's ticking. What's he mean?"
"Why would I know?" He shrugged openly, not really bothering to lie in any way. He didn't see the point. He wanted them to win so he only said what he knew and didn't try to mislead. At least, not right now. "I assume Lucifer is his own ticking clock. Either that or you have something else to be worried about. Maybe there's another fun end of the world even waiting to kick off."
He just hoped these knuckleheads worked it out before it all got worse. "Look, you have to get that bastard into the cage and then --" And then it wouldn't exactly hold but they'd have more time to work it all out. "Then we'll iron out the kinks. Don't worry, darling. You have the best mind of the case."
"Do I? Because from where I'm at, what I've got is the two idjit brothers, their pet angel and whatever you're supposed to be." Questionable at best, if Bobby had to mince his words. Luckily, he didn't have to. "That's a shit deal, if you ask me. Especially with the youngin talkin' about doing himself in. Ain't no way I'm dealing with that being our best shot."
Yet here they were. "There's gotta be something here. You're gambling so high and you ain't stupid. You gotta know there's some secret ace that could come into play."
He did light a lot of candles but he wanted to set the mood and most of what he wanted to do had been vetoed like a romantic dinner because apparently it was weird when he didn't eat. Instead, he just got a bottle of Craig whiskey, some rose petals and a lot of candles. Seriously, he went ham. It was just funny to see how Bobby reacted, he couldn't help but grin at him.
"I have drinks, I cleaned up the sitting area and I rearranged your magazines because they were driving me insane." Well, they were basically all over everywhere so now, a nice neat pile to the side of the couch. Not on it. Or under it. "Sit, relax-- wash your hands first if you've touched car ... things."
"Car things?" Bobby asked it with amusement in his voice, wondering whether Alistair was simply more used to, what, carriage parts? Probably, back from when he had been human. Whatever, he walked over to the sink to wash his hands off any trace of car things and looked around. Everything was bathed in the golden sheen of candles. Hell, it was probably several degrees warmer in here because of it.
"This is a damn fire hazard." Seemed worth pointing out. Bobby turned around and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward. He couldn't remember the last time he had been on anything even close to a date and now he had one with a man. No. With a demon. A demon who was kind of fancy. He was out of his depth in so many way. "So. We-- Are those rose petals?"
"They are. Fresh, not those plastic ones. We're not cheap, darling. We're worth every expense." And he hoped if he kept saying it, maybe Bobby would buy himself something. Like a new hat. Or new shoes. An entirely new wardrobe. Maybe. A guy could dream. "There's no hazard, controlling fire is like demonics 101. Everything is fine. Stop -- doing that."
He gestured vaguely at Bobby. "Just sit and pour yourself a drink. Don't worry, I'm a gentleman. We won't fuck on the first date... wait, sorry, make love." They were classy." We're just drinking, it's what you'd do anyway but now it's less sad because I'm here." And wasn't that easier. "Pressures off, Robert. Now breathe."
Pressure off when there was Alistair calling him Robert in that way, the way that Bobby didn't mind but that made his heart seize up? When there were rose petals, approximately a hundred candles and even the vague possibility of anything like fucking. Making love.
Bobby scoffed because it was easier than any other way he could think to express himself. He did move over, only looking a little as if he thought Alistair could bite and maybe showing some hint about how he might not entirely mind a bite or two. Then he sat down, frowning at the pile of magazines. He was going to fix that later. "Y'know, you don't gotta clean up around here. Ain't your mess."
"I have to clean or I wouldn't sit down. It's fine, it doesn't take effort." He flicked his fingers and the papers on the floor floated up and landed onto Bobby's desk. Aleister was no simple demon, he was someone who used a lot of magical shortcuts to get through life. Why shy away from magic? It was beyond handy yet many demons did. "Besides, when would you have the time. I've watched you. Back and forth to the phones, to the books, to whatever car there is and then the phones again. It gives me a bloody headache when I visit, I don't know why you do it."
Well, he did but he still found it strange. He poured himself a drink and then held it up towards Bobby in a cheers. "To interesting new potentials."
Sam broke the silence they had been stewing in for a while, with Castiel having left sudden and without warning. Sam was staring at the results of the spell, written in Enochian that Castiel had translated, just before leaving.
"Guess so. Two archangels. Who'd have thunk it?" Bobby would care more later, right now he was dealing with the injuries he had sustained from the forces that had tried to keep them from completing the spell. He didn't have the same fast reflexes as the boys. His left arm and chest had been scratched up and he was trying to see whether he'd need any stitches.
"It can't be counting Lucifer, right?" Sam turned to look at his brother. "We know he's in hell. So, what? Gabriel and Michael? Or... I don't know, man. Where did Cas go? Does he think this is Hide and Seek?"
"It's not Lucifer. He's a fallen angel, he doesn't count in the same way. There's two left and -- damn it, I thought we'd already handled Gabriel." While he wasn't eager to face that annoying rule following dumbass again, he would and he wouldn't fail this time. Maybe they could get some use out of it. "Maybe Gabriel knows where Michael is? Maybe they're hiding out together."
He almost wished it was Raphael they had to handle. He was a dick but he was mostly a non-angry dick who could be at least talked to. "You doing okay, Bobby?"
"I thought Gabriel was in Heaven. And we definitely know that Michael is not in Heaven." Sam assumed that was what Castiel had gone to check up on. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "It can't be him, right? Raphael. He can't-- I mean, we saw him die."
He'd mourned him. He'd prayed to his memory more times than he'd ever be willing to admit and he had not been annoyed to him ever since his death. No, Raphael had to be gone. "I guess no matter what, Michael is definitely out there somewhere. We're running out of archangels."
"I'm fine," Bobby grumbled, pressing his shredded shirt onto the wounds to staunch the bleeding. "Unless your angel's coming back soon though, I might need some bandaging." If an angel could even heal these wounds.
"Cas?! Buddy, where'd you go?" He probably went to check if Gabriel was in heaven. If he wasn't, either the thing was picking up Lucifer accidentally or they had to deal with the idea hat Raphael had faked his dead. Again. "If he doesn't find Gabriel in heaven then we have to pick between a fluke of it picking up Lucifer or it's Raphael. Again. And let's be real, that fucker has faked his death more times than I can count."
He huffed as he walked over to the medical cabinet. "The question would be, how on Earth do we find Raphael if he is alive?"
"You'll need a better tracking spell than this one. Clearly." Aleister suggested from the doorway as he looked around the chaos and then met Bobby's eyes from across the room. What jackass did that and who was he hurting in retribution. "Evenings, boys."
"Oh hell no." Matteo cursed as he pulled out a demon knife. "You better get the fuck out of here, asshat."
"It's fine, Matteo. Leave him be, son." Bobby looked back at Aleister and somehow tried to convey with one look that he was not badly hurt and that he had not told the boys anything about them and that there was no reason to fret or to bring up any changes in relationship status right now. "It wasn't much of a tracking spell."
"And it's none of your business," Sam informed Aleister with a decisive glare, already expecting that it'd be ignored. He got up and moved closer to Bobby and his brother, feeling that surge of protectiveness. "No one wants to make a deal here, so get lost."
"We ready?" The best thing, the only good thing, about informing the boys in no uncertain terms of the nature of his and Aleister's relationship was that they were so awkward afterwards that it had really cut down on the chitchat. Matty was too busy avoiding everyone's eyes to do anything other than focusing on preparing the ritual and Castiel looked puzzled, probably trying to figure out what exactly about this revelation bothered them.
Sam was the most focused on the actual summoning, which was just as well, given he had taken on the task of reciting the words.
Castiel had given them a feather and some grace and now the words were being spoken and something was happening. A light, brighter than anything, and Bobby moved an arm before his eyes and called out. "CLOSE YOUR EYES, YOU IDJITS!"
The house shook, the lightbulbs blew out and the brightest light filled the room. The usual angel sort of deal. The flash of wings spread out in shadow as Raphael stood in the summoning ring, looking at the brothers and their weird uncle guy with a small frown.
"Hi, kids."
"Oh my God, you giant douche. You really were alive this whole time." Matty hissed, irritated but not surprised. They actually kind of felt bad for Raphael after his brother merced him, they shared a drink in his honour. What an asshole.
Raphael looked more annoyed than anything and then focused in on Castiel. Traitor. "Dude. Uncool, little bro. You could have spared their feelings and not given them some feathers." Now they were hurt and it was all Castiel's fault.
Castiel might have said something to defend himself, but Sam got between them. He rushed Raphael, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and bodily dragging the actual Archangel a few steps before pinning him against the wall, narrowed eyes focused on him.
"What the fuck, Raphael?!" The fury was obvious and Bobby felt himself worry. He didn't want either of his boys getting destroyed by an archangel. "You faked it? All of it? This whole damn time?!"
He yelled out the words, before lowering his voice. "I mourned you, you egotistical dickhead."
Raphael knew that Sam was mortal in the end - emotional, vulnerable and soft and he should treat that with the right amount of gentleness. And yet, he supposed he wasn't much in the mood for a lecture today. He raised one hand and sent Sam flying across the room with a mere touch of his palm.
"Oh, really? Calm yourself, Samquatch." He was not going to be attacked by a boy, not in front of his little brother. That was just silly. "Cause I'm not playing if you're gonna be fighting. Let's all just relax."
"Fuck you." Matty said, coming over to help Sam back onto his feet. "I'm so sick of your games."
"And yet, you summoned me." So clearly they weren't entirely sick of them.
"Because we need you! Not because your games are anything other than tired horse shit!" Sam stayed close to Matty, his glare not having lost any of its intensity. "We've been looking for any way to stop the apocalypse! We caged the devil, again. I lost my soul for months. And you were just out there, in Vegas?"
Castiel looked at the two angry brothers and decided that he should probably try and make this a more productive conversation before they got ditched. "Hello, Raphael. It is good to see you, brother."
"They are asleep now," Castiel said after having sat in silence for a good half an hour, waiting to hear Matty's breathing even out, followed by Sam's eventually doing the same. Matty was a lot better at falling asleep, he could do it at any time and in any position. It seemed to be a great skill that he had trained over the years.
He looked at his sleeping face now, nodding his head before turning away and walking over to the couch, so he could sit down there and not creepily stare at Matty all night. He'd only do it for part of the night, which should negate any creepiness. "Sometimes they have nightmares. Then it can be all right to shake them awake."
Raphael laughed and then put aside the book he had been skimming through to cast a look over at Sam. He seemed fine and if he wasn't, he was a big boy. He could handle himself. Of course, he wasn't ragingly in love with his charge like Castiel was. "You need to relax. They're asleep - now it's your time. Like any other mom, when the kids are down, you break out the wine and watch trash."
Raphael pulled the TV remote from between the couch cushions and handed it to Castiel.
"I don't drink wine. Matty says that it's just bad grape juice." Matty liked harder stuff and beer. Although he had a feeling that if he really wanted to get drunk, he'd also drink wine. The need to get drunk tended to trump anything else.
Castiel was not sure what to do with the remote, so he simply placed it back down on the cushion, his eyes focused on Raphael. "You weren't in Vegas the whole time. Even hidden. I have been looking. I'd have known."
"It is bad grape juice. I don't get it myself either but I know that alcohol is one of those main staples of being human. You drink, you fight, you fuck." Raphael explained as he pulled some M&Ms from his pocket and shoved them into his mouth, chewing happily as he watched Sam sleep. He was so long. No wonder he couldn't sleep on the couch.
Looking at Castiel, he gave him angelic bro a frown and then looked away. "Don't be a snitch, it's not cool. If they ask, I was in Vegas the whole time. With porn stars and party times."
"I don't think you could spend that much time partying with porn stars. They work a lot." It stood to reason, simply going by their filmography. He had seen several recurring names when looking at what Matty had accumulated over the years.
Castiel considered Raphael, tried to make sense of him. "I am not being a snitch. They are asleep. They won't know. But you weren't in Vegas. I don't know if you were there at all."
So why was he claiming that he was? "What were you doing, brother?"
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He finished the incantation, added some drops of blood and threw a match into the bowl, then leaned back against the desk, arms crossed. He assumed that, if nothing else, Aleister wasn't going to make him wait long. The demon was prompt, had to give him that.
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It seemed like a fair question to ask, as he leaned in the kitchen doorway, looking from the stack of crap all over the kitchen table to the chaos that was the living room. He eyed up a bunch of car parts sprayed across the living room and wondered why anyone would want to live like this. "Do you think demons never come after you because you live in a hovel? Because I actually think you're on the money."
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"You know why demons don't come after me. Ain't enough to keep you away though, go figure." None of the enchantments, wards and other protective spells and items he had in place seemed to do much against Aleister. Had to be a crossroads thing, Bobby assumed. "Anyway. I ain't just hitting you up cause I'm lonely and fancy a chat. It's about the cage. The boys caught up to Death and he gave them the ring. He also said the time's ticking. What's he mean?"
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He just hoped these knuckleheads worked it out before it all got worse. "Look, you have to get that bastard into the cage and then --" And then it wouldn't exactly hold but they'd have more time to work it all out. "Then we'll iron out the kinks. Don't worry, darling. You have the best mind of the case."
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Yet here they were. "There's gotta be something here. You're gambling so high and you ain't stupid. You gotta know there's some secret ace that could come into play."
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He did light a lot of candles but he wanted to set the mood and most of what he wanted to do had been vetoed like a romantic dinner because apparently it was weird when he didn't eat. Instead, he just got a bottle of Craig whiskey, some rose petals and a lot of candles. Seriously, he went ham. It was just funny to see how Bobby reacted, he couldn't help but grin at him.
"I have drinks, I cleaned up the sitting area and I rearranged your magazines because they were driving me insane." Well, they were basically all over everywhere so now, a nice neat pile to the side of the couch. Not on it. Or under it. "Sit, relax-- wash your hands first if you've touched car ... things."
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"This is a damn fire hazard." Seemed worth pointing out. Bobby turned around and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward. He couldn't remember the last time he had been on anything even close to a date and now he had one with a man. No. With a demon. A demon who was kind of fancy. He was out of his depth in so many way. "So. We-- Are those rose petals?"
What the hell?
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He gestured vaguely at Bobby. "Just sit and pour yourself a drink. Don't worry, I'm a gentleman. We won't fuck on the first date... wait, sorry, make love." They were classy." We're just drinking, it's what you'd do anyway but now it's less sad because I'm here." And wasn't that easier. "Pressures off, Robert. Now breathe."
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Bobby scoffed because it was easier than any other way he could think to express himself. He did move over, only looking a little as if he thought Alistair could bite and maybe showing some hint about how he might not entirely mind a bite or two. Then he sat down, frowning at the pile of magazines. He was going to fix that later. "Y'know, you don't gotta clean up around here. Ain't your mess."
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Well, he did but he still found it strange. He poured himself a drink and then held it up towards Bobby in a cheers. "To interesting new potentials."
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Sam broke the silence they had been stewing in for a while, with Castiel having left sudden and without warning. Sam was staring at the results of the spell, written in Enochian that Castiel had translated, just before leaving.
"Guess so. Two archangels. Who'd have thunk it?" Bobby would care more later, right now he was dealing with the injuries he had sustained from the forces that had tried to keep them from completing the spell. He didn't have the same fast reflexes as the boys. His left arm and chest had been scratched up and he was trying to see whether he'd need any stitches.
"It can't be counting Lucifer, right?" Sam turned to look at his brother. "We know he's in hell. So, what? Gabriel and Michael? Or... I don't know, man. Where did Cas go? Does he think this is Hide and Seek?"
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He almost wished it was Raphael they had to handle. He was a dick but he was mostly a non-angry dick who could be at least talked to. "You doing okay, Bobby?"
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He'd mourned him. He'd prayed to his memory more times than he'd ever be willing to admit and he had not been annoyed to him ever since his death. No, Raphael had to be gone. "I guess no matter what, Michael is definitely out there somewhere. We're running out of archangels."
"I'm fine," Bobby grumbled, pressing his shredded shirt onto the wounds to staunch the bleeding. "Unless your angel's coming back soon though, I might need some bandaging." If an angel could even heal these wounds.
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He huffed as he walked over to the medical cabinet. "The question would be, how on Earth do we find Raphael if he is alive?"
"You'll need a better tracking spell than this one. Clearly." Aleister suggested from the doorway as he looked around the chaos and then met Bobby's eyes from across the room. What jackass did that and who was he hurting in retribution. "Evenings, boys."
"Oh hell no." Matteo cursed as he pulled out a demon knife. "You better get the fuck out of here, asshat."
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"And it's none of your business," Sam informed Aleister with a decisive glare, already expecting that it'd be ignored. He got up and moved closer to Bobby and his brother, feeling that surge of protectiveness. "No one wants to make a deal here, so get lost."
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Sam was the most focused on the actual summoning, which was just as well, given he had taken on the task of reciting the words.
Castiel had given them a feather and some grace and now the words were being spoken and something was happening. A light, brighter than anything, and Bobby moved an arm before his eyes and called out. "CLOSE YOUR EYES, YOU IDJITS!"
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"Hi, kids."
"Oh my God, you giant douche. You really were alive this whole time." Matty hissed, irritated but not surprised. They actually kind of felt bad for Raphael after his brother merced him, they shared a drink in his honour. What an asshole.
Raphael looked more annoyed than anything and then focused in on Castiel. Traitor. "Dude. Uncool, little bro. You could have spared their feelings and not given them some feathers." Now they were hurt and it was all Castiel's fault.
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"What the fuck, Raphael?!" The fury was obvious and Bobby felt himself worry. He didn't want either of his boys getting destroyed by an archangel. "You faked it? All of it? This whole damn time?!"
He yelled out the words, before lowering his voice. "I mourned you, you egotistical dickhead."
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"Oh, really? Calm yourself, Samquatch." He was not going to be attacked by a boy, not in front of his little brother. That was just silly. "Cause I'm not playing if you're gonna be fighting. Let's all just relax."
"Fuck you." Matty said, coming over to help Sam back onto his feet. "I'm so sick of your games."
"And yet, you summoned me." So clearly they weren't entirely sick of them.
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Castiel looked at the two angry brothers and decided that he should probably try and make this a more productive conversation before they got ditched. "Hello, Raphael. It is good to see you, brother."
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He looked at his sleeping face now, nodding his head before turning away and walking over to the couch, so he could sit down there and not creepily stare at Matty all night. He'd only do it for part of the night, which should negate any creepiness. "Sometimes they have nightmares. Then it can be all right to shake them awake."
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Raphael laughed and then put aside the book he had been skimming through to cast a look over at Sam. He seemed fine and if he wasn't, he was a big boy. He could handle himself. Of course, he wasn't ragingly in love with his charge like Castiel was. "You need to relax. They're asleep - now it's your time. Like any other mom, when the kids are down, you break out the wine and watch trash."
Raphael pulled the TV remote from between the couch cushions and handed it to Castiel.
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Castiel was not sure what to do with the remote, so he simply placed it back down on the cushion, his eyes focused on Raphael. "You weren't in Vegas the whole time. Even hidden. I have been looking. I'd have known."
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Looking at Castiel, he gave him angelic bro a frown and then looked away. "Don't be a snitch, it's not cool. If they ask, I was in Vegas the whole time. With porn stars and party times."
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Castiel considered Raphael, tried to make sense of him. "I am not being a snitch. They are asleep. They won't know. But you weren't in Vegas. I don't know if you were there at all."
So why was he claiming that he was? "What were you doing, brother?"
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