"I guess you'll have a better time seeing the states without your family. More freedom, eh? Don't want to be dragged down by us lot, Sammy." Matty tossed back at him, wounded that Sam talked about it like he did. Matty had some many fond memories, so much knowledge from so many states and he had experienced things no one else had. Sammy was ashamed of him and dad. He eyed up Harry, narrowing his eyes. "Don't like the burger?"
"I'm not hungry." Harry wished Sam didn't have to deal with this shit, his brother was being a complete asshole. He tried to ignore Matty, it didn't seem worth it. "I get what you mean though, Bobby. The accessibility is better in cities, most places have ramps around New York these days and I saw similar things in California. European isn't half bad for it either."
"Jesus." Matty exhaled in annoyance as he tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. Now Bobby wanted to leave too? Great.
"I never got to Europe. Been in Asia with the army, didn't look for accessibility back then though." Bobby took another sip of his beer. "Easy to take things for granted when you're young and fit."
Sam was glaring at Matty, who wasn't even looking at him. Fucking asshole. "Maybe Harry and I will go on holiday in Europe." Now he was just trying to provoke. "And him and I could travel to meet abuela too."
"You're just gonna go ahead and meet the whole family. Except dad. You disrespect your family, you ungrateful bastard. Run off to mom's family, you never even knew her. You knew dad. You owe dad." Matty snapped, annoyed at Sam for doing this. For being so damn ashamed of everything they had together. Now it was just all about his fucking boyfriend and his fancy now life at college. "Dad would be embarrassed by you."
Matty stood up and shoved his chair back, walking into the kitchen before he really lost his temper. He was on the verge of decking that ungrateful little punk.
Harry tried to hold onto Sam's arm so he didn't follow, it didn't seem like a wise move.
"Good!" Sam wanted to say more. He wanted to say how he was embarrassed by his father and how Matty was embarrassing him right now. He wanted to throw so many well-worded arguments in Matty's face, but instead he simply sat there, mind blank.
"Fuck," he finally muttered, casting a look Harry's way and muttering an apology before getting to his feet and following after Matty into the kitchen.
"How am I gonna introduce him to dad when I don't fucking know where he is? I haven't heard from dad in... I don't even remember! I bet you have. I bet you've had talks about what shame I'm bringing on the family by wanting something different out of my life!" He glared at Matty and then added, quieter, "It's not my fault I never knew mom."
Bobby looked at Harry, reaching over to briefly touch his shoulder. "Got nothing to do with you, son. They're just... They're gonna be fine. Also, they gotta stop acting like I don't know Spanish."
"Dad knows you don't want to talk to him. You don't exactly make it a secret." Dad hadn't spoke to Matteo in a long time, he blamed Matty for Sam leaving and Matty knew why. He helped Sam, drove him there, let him study for the tests. He betrayed his dad for Sam and now Sam was here, different and -- happy. He hated it and he hated himself for hating it. He wanted Sam to regret college, he wanted him to come back and again, he hated himself for that to because he didn't. He wanted Sam to flourish.
"Well, you got something different. Gonna be a big city lawyer in New York, then you can experience the happiness for the first time with your boyfriend. Cause God knows, we ruined your whole damn life."
Harry listened to the two talking rapidly and swiftly in the other room and then turned to Bobby, shrugging. "I've had weirder dinners. I went to prep school." There was a business feud every lunch time. Still, he didn't feel great about this, he didn't want to see Sam so upset. "Sam really loves Matty but he's so scared of him."
"You are putting words into my mouth. You always-- I never said that! I don't think you've ruined my life, I know I owe you. I know what you've done for me." He just wanted to be somewhere where he could be himself without the weight of all that guilt and the expectations he didn't want to fulfil heaped upon him.
"I've been happy with you." Damn, he just sounded like a petulant child. Sam wanted to be back up in his room with Harry in his arms. Or better, miles and miles away, in their place. Far away from everything here.
Bobby listened in on their conversation, trying to judge whether he needed to interfere. He looked at Harry though, giving a reluctant nod. "Matty was more of a dad for him in some ways. So it's messed up. Matty wants what's best for Sam, he just feels rejected. He ain't bad, he's just got a lot he wants to live up to."
"Whatever, I don't care. You just watch yourself. Walking around these parts with that stuck up snob? You're not gonna like the attention you get." Matty warned as he opened the fridge, got another beer and twisted the top off. He flicked the cap at Sam, trying to keep to his anger. Anger was better than sadness. He wanted to hug his brother, he wanted to tell him how much he missed him and how proud he was.
He just couldn't handle all of this. College was one thing but a fucking boyfriend too? "It's a phase." Matty said it in English, looking away from Sam as he walked to the other end of the kitchen. "He looks down on us. On you. You're making an idiot of yourself."
Well, that part Harry could hear, as the language had stopped. He raised an eyebrow and then looked at Bobby. "Should I pretend I don't know English like you do with Spanish ooooor..."
"You think we don't get shit where we live? Sorry, being homophobic isn't just a countryside trait, doesn't go away any more than racism does." Sam defended himself and Harry right away, glaring at Matty. "He's not ashamed of me. Of us. Not like you are. So I think I'll stay in my "phase"."
Bobby rolled back a little, trying to decide whether he should move over to the kitchen. "Can you two stop behaving like idjits under my roof?! I'll send you to your rooms if I have to."
"Fine, fine. Whatever. I'm out." Matty held his hands up and then came in to show Bobby he was going to tap out. "I'll be at work tomorrow, I'm gonna go for a walk. Get a beer."
Matty didn't even say bye, he just went right for the door and slammed it petulantly on the way out. Like the dickhead he felt like being today.
"Huh... he seems nice." Harry looked at the door and then looked at Sam. Damn. The kicked puppy face. "You okay, Sam?"
Sam stood there feeling like he had received a beating. He hadn't wanted to think too much about how bad it might be to come back and come across Matty, but this was worse than he'd have thought it could be. "Sorry."
He said to Harry, unsure what else to say. "He's not really like that. I swear, he's... Fuck."
Quickly, he headed for the stares and bolted up them, presumably so Harry wouldn't see him cry.
Bobby looked after him for a moment, then he shrugged and looked at Harry. "Do you want to check on him? Because I'd get it if you want to sit it out."
"I'm gonna head up." It wasn't exactly the first time he'd been at an awkward family dinner than ended in pain and upset. He just didn't want to see it on Sam's face. "Sorry about the -- the food looked good." He knew he didn't eat much but he had a fry at least. It was just hard to muster up hunger when his boyfriend was being yelled at in Spanish.
Harry headed up and then slowly opened the door, just in case Sam really didn't want him here.
"We don't have to talk about any of that, if you don't want to." Harry wasn't going to push. "But I do want to lie with you - that cool?"
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waywarddone2024-10-10 08:28 pm
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"I'm not hungry." Harry wished Sam didn't have to deal with this shit, his brother was being a complete asshole. He tried to ignore Matty, it didn't seem worth it. "I get what you mean though, Bobby. The accessibility is better in cities, most places have ramps around New York these days and I saw similar things in California. European isn't half bad for it either."
"Jesus." Matty exhaled in annoyance as he tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. Now Bobby wanted to leave too? Great.
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Sam was glaring at Matty, who wasn't even looking at him. Fucking asshole. "Maybe Harry and I will go on holiday in Europe." Now he was just trying to provoke. "And him and I could travel to meet abuela too."
Anything but their shitty dad.
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Matty stood up and shoved his chair back, walking into the kitchen before he really lost his temper. He was on the verge of decking that ungrateful little punk.
Harry tried to hold onto Sam's arm so he didn't follow, it didn't seem like a wise move.
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"Fuck," he finally muttered, casting a look Harry's way and muttering an apology before getting to his feet and following after Matty into the kitchen.
"How am I gonna introduce him to dad when I don't fucking know where he is? I haven't heard from dad in... I don't even remember! I bet you have. I bet you've had talks about what shame I'm bringing on the family by wanting something different out of my life!" He glared at Matty and then added, quieter, "It's not my fault I never knew mom."
Bobby looked at Harry, reaching over to briefly touch his shoulder. "Got nothing to do with you, son. They're just... They're gonna be fine. Also, they gotta stop acting like I don't know Spanish."
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"Well, you got something different. Gonna be a big city lawyer in New York, then you can experience the happiness for the first time with your boyfriend. Cause God knows, we ruined your whole damn life."
Harry listened to the two talking rapidly and swiftly in the other room and then turned to Bobby, shrugging. "I've had weirder dinners. I went to prep school." There was a business feud every lunch time. Still, he didn't feel great about this, he didn't want to see Sam so upset. "Sam really loves Matty but he's so scared of him."
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"I've been happy with you." Damn, he just sounded like a petulant child. Sam wanted to be back up in his room with Harry in his arms. Or better, miles and miles away, in their place. Far away from everything here.
Bobby listened in on their conversation, trying to judge whether he needed to interfere. He looked at Harry though, giving a reluctant nod. "Matty was more of a dad for him in some ways. So it's messed up. Matty wants what's best for Sam, he just feels rejected. He ain't bad, he's just got a lot he wants to live up to."
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He just couldn't handle all of this. College was one thing but a fucking boyfriend too? "It's a phase." Matty said it in English, looking away from Sam as he walked to the other end of the kitchen. "He looks down on us. On you. You're making an idiot of yourself."
Well, that part Harry could hear, as the language had stopped. He raised an eyebrow and then looked at Bobby. "Should I pretend I don't know English like you do with Spanish ooooor..."
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Bobby rolled back a little, trying to decide whether he should move over to the kitchen. "Can you two stop behaving like idjits under my roof?! I'll send you to your rooms if I have to."
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Matty didn't even say bye, he just went right for the door and slammed it petulantly on the way out. Like the dickhead he felt like being today.
"Huh... he seems nice." Harry looked at the door and then looked at Sam. Damn. The kicked puppy face. "You okay, Sam?"
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He said to Harry, unsure what else to say. "He's not really like that. I swear, he's... Fuck."
Quickly, he headed for the stares and bolted up them, presumably so Harry wouldn't see him cry.
Bobby looked after him for a moment, then he shrugged and looked at Harry. "Do you want to check on him? Because I'd get it if you want to sit it out."
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Harry headed up and then slowly opened the door, just in case Sam really didn't want him here.
"We don't have to talk about any of that, if you don't want to." Harry wasn't going to push. "But I do want to lie with you - that cool?"