"I know what you were doing. But it doesn't matter. You could have shown me a thousand worlds without Matteo and I'd not have wanted any one of them." Sam sighed as he released his hold on Raphael a little, just enough to run a hand through the angel's hair instead. It felt nice in here, much nicer than it ever did out there. In reality, where everything was torture.
He could feel himself get thirstier. Soon it would be too unpleasant to stay asleep and dreaming any longer. "I would have been dead without you. You saved us. You helped us against Lucifer. You did take care of me. There's a reason I went looking for you, Raphael."
"Cause you have low standards and it's kinda sad. That's why. I did the bare minimum and barely that. You just don't have anyone else. And how garbage is that?" Sam had to turn to a guy that screwed him over a thousand times because that was his best bet. His hurt him to know that things weren't ever going to get better either. If Sam didn't die here, Lucifer would find them eventually.
Maybe death was merciful for both of them. "If you see a chance to leave, Sam... go for it. Don't try and get me, just go." He didn't think it was worth getting him out, he didn't know how to live in this reality any more.
He just wished he could go to his big brother, his morning star, and hug him. Ask him for help. To not explode at him. He blamed him for all of his stupid weakness and failings. It wasn't right. "I think you're waking up, bud."
"Yeah. Guess so." Sam was trying to find more words to say, the right words to say. The words that didn't leave him feeling empty and hopeless. Utterly alone. He looked at Raphael and wondered what it was like to have a profound bond with anyone. Anyone other than the fucked up assholes that kept on taking over his body and mind as if they had every right.
He wanted to tell Raphael that he'd not leave him, but being rebuffed at every turn was only making him feel more deflated. Not the right words then. Maybe they simply didn't exist. "Good night."
All right, that was a dumb thing to say, given he was waking up. He wanted to add something less idiotic, but he woke up, coughing. His throat felt raw, as if he'd swallowed sandpaper.
The cell was dark and he had to carefully feel for the cup before he could lift it and drink a few sips of water. Not too much, he had to ration it. His head was pounding. What a night.
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waywarddone2024-09-20 07:08 pm
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He could feel himself get thirstier. Soon it would be too unpleasant to stay asleep and dreaming any longer. "I would have been dead without you. You saved us. You helped us against Lucifer. You did take care of me. There's a reason I went looking for you, Raphael."
no subject
Maybe death was merciful for both of them. "If you see a chance to leave, Sam... go for it. Don't try and get me, just go." He didn't think it was worth getting him out, he didn't know how to live in this reality any more.
He just wished he could go to his big brother, his morning star, and hug him. Ask him for help. To not explode at him. He blamed him for all of his stupid weakness and failings. It wasn't right. "I think you're waking up, bud."
no subject
He wanted to tell Raphael that he'd not leave him, but being rebuffed at every turn was only making him feel more deflated. Not the right words then. Maybe they simply didn't exist. "Good night."
All right, that was a dumb thing to say, given he was waking up. He wanted to add something less idiotic, but he woke up, coughing. His throat felt raw, as if he'd swallowed sandpaper.
The cell was dark and he had to carefully feel for the cup before he could lift it and drink a few sips of water. Not too much, he had to ration it. His head was pounding. What a night.