Raphael flinched at the touch and withdrew from Sam, his eyes still closed as he focused on getting through the pain and not giving in. His grace was healing him, sure, but it was healing him slowly. He whined lightly behind the stitches and pressed his face into the ground. His mouth still tasted like Lazar's boot and he hated it.
Sam's words were about usual. Kid always thought everything was his fault, it was who he was. And a spiteful, tiny part of Raphael felt like it was. He knew he was just being petty though, he made the choices, he provoked and he paid the price. Sam didn't do this to him.
Being aware of that spiteful part of him knocked him out of himself somewhat and he forced his eyes open, looking at Sam. He wasn't looking much better either. Damn, what did Lazar do to him?
Sam flinched when Raphael looked at him. Perhaps it was his imagination that made him feel the judgement coming from them. All his sins and failures plain to see, measured and found wanting. He looked away and knew he was a coward for doing so. He had sat there and watched Raphael get punished. He had invaded his dreams and acted due to them. He had to face the consequences.
Pressing his lips together, he bit back another apology. They were no use to anyone and they had started to ring hollow to his ears long ago.
"I have some water." He gestured to the wall where he had the last food tray they'd brought him. "I can clean your wounds."
Raphael shook his head. Humans needed water to live and he was not wasting it on some blood. He was used to it, it stuck and itched for a few days and then Lazar showered him off. It wasn't worth it. Still, he saw the way Sam looked and saw him about to move so he reached out, against his better judgement. He touched Sam. Intentionally, with desire, he touched his wrist. Then he tightened his grip.
Making sure Sam was looking at him, he shook his head. Resources like that were precious for Sam and if Sam wasn't going to take care of himself, Raphael would have to do it.
There was enough blood on the floor for him to reach out with his finger and write to him. H20 = Sam
Sam stared at that message on the ground, written in blood, and the sheer awfulness of it all made tears spring to his eyes at the same time as he chuckled. He breathed in slowly to try and get his emotions back under control, looking at the hand holding on to his wrist. Were angels ever supposed to feel as cold as Raphael did right now?
He looked at him and smiled a little, sure that it would not reach his eyes. "Hey."
What could he really say in this fucked up situation? "So, an angel, a demon and a witch walk into a bar..."
Lazar was right, he wasn't a very good guardian. He couldn't protect Sam, he had no plan or idea on what to do and he had literally nothing to offer him. He wished he had grace to just rip himself and Sam out of hell but right now, he didn't have enough to make himself feel less sick. He was woozy, shivering, his head pounded but he looked at Sam.
An the joke set up, he smiled ever so slightly and shuffled close. He was still naked, he didn't have his clothes back on yet so he couldn't use his sleeve. He just raised his hand and used his thumb to remove the tear that was starting to fall from Sam's eye.
"I forgot the rest. I was always bad with punchlines. Back in the day, I'd just make a fart noise. Always did the trick with Matty." His brother wasn't that sophisticated, Sam was fairly sure it would still work.
He was careful when he wrapped an arm around Raphael, not wanting to upset his wounds any further and not wanting to touch him any more than he felt comfortable with. But Raphael was cold, so cold. He knew angels were not supposed to ever shiver like this. "You are better at jokes. I can't believe how often you've made me laugh."
He made Sam laugh? Heh. He guessed he mostly remembered Sam being angry more than laughing but maybe he found more time to laugh at his jokes later, in private, after he was less angry. Then again, that time he sent the platypus into his motel room was comedy gold.
He braced himself under Sam's touch and then realised than Sam was willing to go to bat for him, willing to get hurt for him and wanted to comfort him. Sam wasn't going to suddenly beat him. Or, at least, he hoped not. He tried to force his muscles to relax and carefully, he shifted a bit closer to Sam. He cocked his head to the side and watched Sam for a second for any signs of rejection.
And then he rested his head against Sam's shoulder. Oh, the human was so warm.
"You can close your eyes, Raphael. I'll take the first shift." He supposed Raphael wouldn't know what that meant, having never been human, having never been on the road. "We used to take turns sleeping. Still do. Whenever things are dicey. To keep each other safe."
And he knew that back in the day Matty would let him sleep longer, until Sam caught on and stubbornly started setting his own alarms. "That's what I promise. To keep an eye on you for the whole shift. So you're safe right now. Relax."
Raphael shook his head. No. They were never safe. He kept his eyes closed and stayed against Sam though, just enjoying the warm that came from him and the way he smelled. Even after a day in hell, he smelled pretty damn good. Bloody, yeah, a bit sweaty but overall, that cologne he had was so nice.
He did fall asleep, waking up on and off, slowly warming against Sam. He reached one hand out to his chest and felt a swell of energy come from it. It made everything hurt that little less.
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Sam's words were about usual. Kid always thought everything was his fault, it was who he was. And a spiteful, tiny part of Raphael felt like it was. He knew he was just being petty though, he made the choices, he provoked and he paid the price. Sam didn't do this to him.
Being aware of that spiteful part of him knocked him out of himself somewhat and he forced his eyes open, looking at Sam. He wasn't looking much better either. Damn, what did Lazar do to him?
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Pressing his lips together, he bit back another apology. They were no use to anyone and they had started to ring hollow to his ears long ago.
"I have some water." He gestured to the wall where he had the last food tray they'd brought him. "I can clean your wounds."
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Making sure Sam was looking at him, he shook his head. Resources like that were precious for Sam and if Sam wasn't going to take care of himself, Raphael would have to do it.
There was enough blood on the floor for him to reach out with his finger and write to him. H20 = Sam
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He looked at him and smiled a little, sure that it would not reach his eyes. "Hey."
What could he really say in this fucked up situation? "So, an angel, a demon and a witch walk into a bar..."
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An the joke set up, he smiled ever so slightly and shuffled close. He was still naked, he didn't have his clothes back on yet so he couldn't use his sleeve. He just raised his hand and used his thumb to remove the tear that was starting to fall from Sam's eye.
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He was careful when he wrapped an arm around Raphael, not wanting to upset his wounds any further and not wanting to touch him any more than he felt comfortable with. But Raphael was cold, so cold. He knew angels were not supposed to ever shiver like this. "You are better at jokes. I can't believe how often you've made me laugh."
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He braced himself under Sam's touch and then realised than Sam was willing to go to bat for him, willing to get hurt for him and wanted to comfort him. Sam wasn't going to suddenly beat him. Or, at least, he hoped not. He tried to force his muscles to relax and carefully, he shifted a bit closer to Sam. He cocked his head to the side and watched Sam for a second for any signs of rejection.
And then he rested his head against Sam's shoulder. Oh, the human was so warm.
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And he knew that back in the day Matty would let him sleep longer, until Sam caught on and stubbornly started setting his own alarms. "That's what I promise. To keep an eye on you for the whole shift. So you're safe right now. Relax."
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He did fall asleep, waking up on and off, slowly warming against Sam. He reached one hand out to his chest and felt a swell of energy come from it. It made everything hurt that little less.