"I'm not a guardian, I'm an archangel. The kid is just... funny. He's alright. I'm no guardian." And if he was, he was definitely a shit one or he'd have a plan and a way to save Sam. Not that he could think of anything to help here. He didn't even know why Sam tried to summon him - what help could he have given.
This was bad. This was awful. Now he thought they were connected, he was fucked. "I didn't lie. I just don't want him dead."
He looked at Sam, watching him struggle to breathe, just hoping his throat wasn't damaged. He'd watched Lazar brutally beat people to death before, he didn't want to see Sam die at his hands either.
"Oh, I think this is a little worse than you lying to me. Although less bad in the immediate present, admittedly." After all, Lazar never took well to being lied to. "Open your mouth, boy."
When Raphael listened, he forced the tip of his boot into his mouth, mostly because he enjoyed the visual. From the look on the still recovering Sam's phase, he was enjoying that visual a lot less. All the better.
"What you've done, my boy, what you're doing? It's lying to yourself. You don't even know what you've just given me, do you? Use your tongue, boy. I know where those boots have been, I want it cleaned."
It was repulsive and he didn't want to but he knew it would be worse if he didn't do it. His tongue flicked out, tentative and slow, trying to avoid the worst places and trying not to look at Sam. He wasn't lying to himself, he wasn't Sam's guardian, he just kept getting forced into his world. He just wanted to play with him, they wanted to hurt him and now, yeah, he didn't want anyone to touch him but he wasn't protecting him.
He cleaned the top of the boots and hoped that was enough that he'd remove the horrible boot from his mouth. He tasted blood and dirt, some other things he didn't want to think about.
"You are really not being a good boy today, are you? You've done this a lot more eagerly before." He kept his foot where it was before while he considered the information he had just acquired and how best to use it. "What if he hurt you? That would get to you."
He looked at Sam, who was glaring at him. Maybe not the best idea. He might just be human, but he knew the hit list those brothers had and he didn't fancy being on it.
Lazar finally removed his boot, setting it down on the ground again. "Get on your knees, boy. Hands behind your back."
"You're an ugly bastard," Sam informed Lazar, who merely smirked.
It was true, he had done it better but he apparently had more shame than expected. The idea of Sam watching him made it hard to do it, he wanted so badly to be good and do what he had to do, he didn't need any retraining, but it was a lot. He was an angel, a powerful one, and he was struggling to deal with Sam's eyes on him.
He slowly sat up and looked anywhere but Sam as he assumed the other position he had been forced into time and time again until it was instinct. Hands behind his back, on his knees, head down.
"Sam, stop it." He swallowed nervously and looked at the floor. "Sam, please. Please." Just listen. Just do what he said. Just don't look at him.
"He wants you to cower, Sam. Like he's learned. What's it going to take to teach you?" Lazar rested a heavy hand on Raphael's head, fingers gradually tightening in his hair. "Can't take much to destroy that bravado."
"You were made by Lucifer, yeah? I think after meeting the real deal, I ain't about to grovel before the diet version." Sam was silent for a moment, then he grinned. "He thinks you ain't shit, by the way. Lucifer."
"...you can communicate with Lucifer?" That would be something. Good or bad, perhaps terrifying. Lazar knew he felt a thrill at the possibility.
"Don't need to to know that. Just have to look at you." Sam was trying to keep Lazar's focus on him with a cocky attitude and jabs. Lazar didn't entirely take the bait, playing with Raphael's hair.
He looked at the angel and wet his lips. "I see why you liked him. We'll have to break him, won't we?"
Lazar was going to break Sam. There was no possible way this would go any other way. There was a grip in his hair and Sam was provoking, clearly trying to get the focus off him. It was like being part of a car crash. He wanted to hit the breaks but he couldn't. Sam would suffer and die. He was human and so very mortal, Raphael knew he'd outlive him.
He didn't want someone like Sam added to his personal hell. The complications were numerous.
He closed his eyes and took a shaky inhale. "Y-You can't." Raphael's body trembled with a rejection of what he was about to do but he had to protect his Sam. For some stupid fucking reason. "Top Banana."
"Ah. Brave little cupid." Lazar smiled down at him and then, perhaps predictably, he slapped him. He lifted him up just to slam him down onto the ground and then he kicked him in the side. Sam, to his credit, tried to approach and interfere, but he was pushed back by an invisible force that kept him away.
Lazar was on top of Raphael soon enough, pinning him to the ground and looking right into his eyes. "Someone's lost his right to speak, son. Keep those lips together. You know it only hurts worse when you fight."
It was brutal and painful but it was better than the alternative. He groaned in pain and he knew what was coming but that didn't make it any easier to accept. He whimpered and shook his head, he didn't want this but Sam was making him fight and fighting was futile. Maybe Sam would see now. Maybe he'd take the hint. "I was helping. Showing what happens to-- to bad boys."
He gulped and then shut his eyes tight, not wanting to look in Lazar's eyes. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe he needed them shut or he'd keep making stupid choices.
"That's very thoughtful of you. What's going to happen to you is that I'll sew your mouth shut." He cupped the side of Raphael's face and made him tilt his head, not bothered by him having closed his eyes. "Then I'll whip you bloody, my boy, for every insolence your pesky human has thrown my way."
Right now, Sam was glowering at him, but keeping his mouth shut. Biding his time, perhaps.
"Then you'll have been punished enough. Then I can start interrogating him. I think I've missed out on his importance a little."
The bravery left his body and Raphael somehow went paler as Lazar unfolded his fate to him. He snivelled and tried to curl into himself but it was impossible to move under Lazar. Sam was a mistake. He was making a mistake. And now he was going to be whipped with barely any grace.
His bravado crumbled and he hitched a small sob. "Please." Fuck. "I didn't mean it..."
"Oh, I think you meant it. That leaves only two options, my boy. Either you are not as broken as you pretended to be for so long or you really, really care about that human." What an interesting possibility the latter one was. "Which option is it?"
He crouched down and, yes, he produced the needle, already threaded, His finger was gentle when it brushed over Raphael's lips.
Sam hissed in sympathy, wishing he could intervene.
He thought he was broken too. And yet it all came out when Sam was in danger. He wanted to save him and he hated himself for it. He felt the needle pierce his lip and knew it was going to hurt like hell when being whipped later. When he cried out like this, it pulled and hurt even more.
He really cared about Sam. Damn it. That was going to make his time here worse.
Raphael tried to slur apologies through the stitches but he knew that wouldn't help. It was too late. His low grace made every stitch hurt more than it ever had before.
"Hush, my boy. You are only making it worse." Blood gathered in droplets around the stitches and dripped to the ground, weeping blood like tears. Sam was watching with wide eyes, utterly horrified. Obviously, Lazar felt none of that.
Instead he gestured to the wall, expecting Raphael to obey. "Hold on to the ring. I want you to stay in place for your punishment."
Had Sam really been worth this? He had to ask himself as he crawled to the ring and held onto it, leaning his head against the wall and questioning his decisions. He hadn't been whipped in a long time because he'd been so good. One day with Sam and it all fell apart.
Sam was dangerous. He had to be careful. He had to avoid protecting him or he was going to suffer for it.
Lazar whipped Raphael the way he always did. He had more than enough practise. He reprimanded Sam once for looking away, otherwise he kept going at a steady pace, until all the marks crisscrossed with each other and made for a beautiful pattern. Then he leaned down, running a hand through Raphael's hair.
"Punishment is over. Now you can be good again."
He turned and gestured to Sam. "Come with me. Time to ask you some questions."
Sam got up, his face filled with concern while he looked at Raphael. He felt guilty, as he always did. He always brought pain and despair wherever he went.
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This was bad. This was awful. Now he thought they were connected, he was fucked. "I didn't lie. I just don't want him dead."
He looked at Sam, watching him struggle to breathe, just hoping his throat wasn't damaged. He'd watched Lazar brutally beat people to death before, he didn't want to see Sam die at his hands either.
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When Raphael listened, he forced the tip of his boot into his mouth, mostly because he enjoyed the visual. From the look on the still recovering Sam's phase, he was enjoying that visual a lot less. All the better.
"What you've done, my boy, what you're doing? It's lying to yourself. You don't even know what you've just given me, do you? Use your tongue, boy. I know where those boots have been, I want it cleaned."
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He cleaned the top of the boots and hoped that was enough that he'd remove the horrible boot from his mouth. He tasted blood and dirt, some other things he didn't want to think about.
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He looked at Sam, who was glaring at him. Maybe not the best idea. He might just be human, but he knew the hit list those brothers had and he didn't fancy being on it.
Lazar finally removed his boot, setting it down on the ground again. "Get on your knees, boy. Hands behind your back."
"You're an ugly bastard," Sam informed Lazar, who merely smirked.
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He slowly sat up and looked anywhere but Sam as he assumed the other position he had been forced into time and time again until it was instinct. Hands behind his back, on his knees, head down.
"Sam, stop it." He swallowed nervously and looked at the floor. "Sam, please. Please." Just listen. Just do what he said. Just don't look at him.
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"You were made by Lucifer, yeah? I think after meeting the real deal, I ain't about to grovel before the diet version." Sam was silent for a moment, then he grinned. "He thinks you ain't shit, by the way. Lucifer."
"...you can communicate with Lucifer?" That would be something. Good or bad, perhaps terrifying. Lazar knew he felt a thrill at the possibility.
"Don't need to to know that. Just have to look at you." Sam was trying to keep Lazar's focus on him with a cocky attitude and jabs. Lazar didn't entirely take the bait, playing with Raphael's hair.
He looked at the angel and wet his lips. "I see why you liked him. We'll have to break him, won't we?"
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He didn't want someone like Sam added to his personal hell. The complications were numerous.
He closed his eyes and took a shaky inhale. "Y-You can't." Raphael's body trembled with a rejection of what he was about to do but he had to protect his Sam. For some stupid fucking reason. "Top Banana."
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Lazar was on top of Raphael soon enough, pinning him to the ground and looking right into his eyes. "Someone's lost his right to speak, son. Keep those lips together. You know it only hurts worse when you fight."
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He gulped and then shut his eyes tight, not wanting to look in Lazar's eyes. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe he needed them shut or he'd keep making stupid choices.
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Right now, Sam was glowering at him, but keeping his mouth shut. Biding his time, perhaps.
"Then you'll have been punished enough. Then I can start interrogating him. I think I've missed out on his importance a little."
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His bravado crumbled and he hitched a small sob. "Please." Fuck. "I didn't mean it..."
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He crouched down and, yes, he produced the needle, already threaded, His finger was gentle when it brushed over Raphael's lips.
Sam hissed in sympathy, wishing he could intervene.
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He really cared about Sam. Damn it. That was going to make his time here worse.
Raphael tried to slur apologies through the stitches but he knew that wouldn't help. It was too late. His low grace made every stitch hurt more than it ever had before.
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Instead he gestured to the wall, expecting Raphael to obey. "Hold on to the ring. I want you to stay in place for your punishment."
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Sam was dangerous. He had to be careful. He had to avoid protecting him or he was going to suffer for it.
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"Punishment is over. Now you can be good again."
He turned and gestured to Sam. "Come with me. Time to ask you some questions."
Sam got up, his face filled with concern while he looked at Raphael. He felt guilty, as he always did. He always brought pain and despair wherever he went.