"I'm not ashamed of you. I'm not-- I got issues with what dad... Whatever, that doesn't matter. I have never been ashamed of you." Well, there had been moments when Matty had wanted him to pull his finger in front of friends or even girlfriends, but setting aside those very specific differences. "I don't think I had to survive you. I think I survived because of you. And I wanted Harry to meet you but I didn't want you to hate him. And I knew you would."

So what was he supposed to do about that? "I'm sorry I'm not the way you want me to be. I know that's a disappointment."

Sam knew he could never explain to anyone properly why him getting a full scholarship at Stanford was a let-down for his big brother, but he got it. He knew why. He just didn't know how to change himself for him. "What do you think of that tree?"

He indicated one, waiting for approval. For his tree selection, he didn't have much hope for any other approval.